Judge, 1903-09-19 · page 10 of 16
Judge — September 19, 1903 — page 10: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains multiple satirical pieces typical of early American humor magazines: **"Her Song" vs. "His Song"**: A gender-contrast piece. The working-class woman cheerfully sings while doing laundry, finding joy in domestic drudgery. The man nostalgically recalls his seafaring youth but now sells rum to sailors and merely dances in his imagination—suggesting masculine decline and obsolescence. The satire mocks both the romanticization of labor and male wistfulness. **"That Is the Way"**: A joke about Chicago's water waste, with a Kentucky colonel humorously misinterpreting the problem as intentional consumption rather than infrastructure loss. **"Doubtless He Was Lion"**: An extended animal pun where a gazelle husband attends an "stag party" given by "elks," with wordplay on "buck," "canard," "amoosements," "fawned," and "lynx." It satirizes marital deception through elaborate animal-related double meanings. **"The Wrong Opening"**: Rural dialect humor about a son finding success in New York—plays on misunderstanding "opening" (opportunity vs. literally opening something). **"Jealousy"**: A wife detects clove scent on her husband, implying infidelity or at least suspicious late nights.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
HER SONG. WASH the shirt, I wash the cuff; I wash the skirt, I wash the ruff. And while I wash, alert, clate, T holler “ bosh" and + scat" at fate, And sing a prime old song that’s sweet While keeping time with both my feet, And sce through fogs blue skies that shine When I the togs hang on the line. THAT IS THE WAY. $6] AM told,” said Mr. Bunting to Colonel Corkwright of Ken- tucky, “that two hundred thousand dollars’ worth of water is wasted every year in Chicago. “They drink it, I suppose,” guessed the Kentuckian, HIS SONG. HILE looking out across the blue The white-winged craft I note Which doth my soul with joy imbue On seas of dream afloat, Because 1 think about the time When up the rigging steep I clambered to a lilting rhyme Upon the rolling deep. Ah, now I'm full of rheumatiz, And T can climb no more, Nor on the high seas whirl and whizz— T now must stay on shore And sell the jolly sailorman The rum that makes him blind, ‘And dance my hompipe spick and span Within my blooming mind. DOUBTLESS HE WAS LION. ‘OMY DEER,” said the timid gazelle, “are you going to that stag party to-night 2” “I must,” he answered. “+ You know it is given by the elks, and Tam a member.” But I have heard that they buck the tiger at such affairs.” «That is a canard. We have nothing but innocent amoosements.” “It is all right, then,” said the trusting wife. “I only feared that you might grow too fawned of such affairs.” “ Never,” he assured her. “I shall only stay long enough to feed the pet kitty, for there is a tie that lynx me too strong- ly to my home to permit my remaining late. * Thus he kept her off his trail. = 8°83 ADOAM ] JEALOUSY. Pa—" Mother, here 1s a letter trom our boy. He hez landed in Noo York got there. Ma— wut lucky in droppin’ Inter likely places. * THE WRONG OPENING. alright, an’ he sez thet he wuz successful In findin’ an openin’ the fust day he Ain't thet fine? 1 Jes’ noo Hy ‘d find somethin’, fer he always HE breath of sus- picion has never touched me,” he said. “Oh, I don't know,” said his wife. “1 have often detected the odor of cloves when you came SAutie Stork—"* Well, | don’t see what you men admire about her figure."* home late.” The opening that Hy found. Oa comicbooks.com