Judge, 1903-09-12 · page 7 of 16
Judge — September 12, 1903 — page 7: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains several unrelated satirical cartoons and jokes typical of early 20th-century American humor: **"Professional Pride"** mocks a baseball player's arrogance, boasting about his skills while playing for a team ironically named the "Eagles of dear old Horseheads" (suggesting a minor or amateur league). **"Uncovering Their Past"** satirizes class anxiety: a wealthy father agrees to his daughter's marriage to a count, but offers only modest weekly payments ($2/week). The daughter's dismay suggests the father has inadvertently revealed their nouveau-riche status through his stingy negotiating—he talks like someone buying from an "installment house" rather than old money. **"Boxed Calf"** and "Very Small"** are brief domestic humor jokes about wives and marriage. **"Overheard at the Club"** plays on the phrase "ditched the express"—a man tried declaring his love but the woman's father literally switched train tracks, preventing the proposal. **"Putting Him Right"** contrasts boarding a ship with boarding crew members (a pun). **"A Novel Method"** jokes that Emerson's poetry causes rheumatism, curable only through lithia tablets—mock-medicinal humor.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
PROFESSIONAL PRIDE. CAPER around and I throw up my hat, And catch the foul tip as it fies off the bat And line them to “second,” to «first and to * third "— Of all the green diamond I'm simply the bird. No matter how lively the baseball may Ait It always is safe when it lands in my mitt ; And loud the “fans” shout when, all rapture-aflame, T knock out the “triple” that captures the game. I throw and I catch with melodious grace, And slide like the petrel for “home” on my face ; And that is the reason I captain the “ Reds,” Whose right name 's the Eagles of dear old Horseheads. for junk 2” Waggles for bric-a-brac. UNCOVERING THEIR PAST. 66 ALL right,” says the rich father, after the count has stated his terms; «I'll let Sadie marry you and agree to turn over to you one million dollars. Now, let's get it fixed up properly. Suppose we say one thousand dollars down and the balance at two dollars a week.” Here Saaie bursts into tears and leaves the room. 4. uy, i ih A DIFFERENCE WITH A DISTINCTION. Jaggles—“'1 suppose bric-a-brac is often sold Not neatly so often as junk is sold VERY SMALL. “Oh, George! I've left my bathing-sult behjnd."* “Aw, don't mind a little thing like that."* OVERHEARD AT THE CLUB. “« Have you expressed your love to her yet?"* “Yes; but her dad threw a switch and ditched the express.” Wi WALKER, “BOXED CALF.” “Now, ma,” says the rich father to his wife, “ what on earth ’s the matter with that girl?” “Well, don't blame her at all, pa, It seems as if you never could keep from betraying the fact that we are of plebeian origin.” “What have I done now?" asks pa. “Why, you talk as if you were buying the count from an installment house.", PUTTING HIM RIGHT. HE. landlord of the Seashor Observed, ‘ How do you do, sir?” “You pirate!” growled the coming guest, “When do you board a cruiser?” ‘The landlord of the Seashore inn Repeated “ Howdydo, sir? I do not board the ship at all— Tonly board the crew, sir.” A NOVEL METHOD. Poet—" When I try to read Emerson's poctry his uneven, halt- ing lines usually give me rheu- matic twinges.” Doctor—" Then how do you manage to enjoy him?" Poet—“1 can only do it on a diet of lithia tablets.” comicbooks.com