Judge — August 22, 1903 — page 2: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

One copy, six 0 One cop FOREIG: Eunorean Saues-acunrs—/atermational News Company, Bream's buildin Ar rue Parken Burpixe, Fouwnt AVENUX aN Nixereextm Stuxer, New Youx. Wesreex Aovexrisine Orrice—S. unireo stati Ove copy, one year, or sz numbers. = < py mouth or soaumbers = : Lo for thirteen weeks! SUBSCRIPTIONS—To all foreiza countries in ‘hancery Lane, B.C, Londo PUBLISHED WEEKLY Marquette Bui'ding, Chicage, I. BSCRIBERS : AND CANADA IN ADVANCE. TERMS TO $ luding the Cusiesrwas Juoce. on, $8.00 year. 2 Suurback's News Exchange, Mains, Germany. The contents of FUDGE are protected by copyright in both the United States and Great Britain. Infringement of this copyrig wll be promstly and vigorously prosecuted. CONTRIBUTORS must inctose a stamzed and self-addressed ertvelone with all manuscripts, otherivise return of the Latter when found unuroailatle cannot be guaranteed. DRAWINGS and alt contributions sent to the Art Department should have the sender's full name and address oritten plainly on each and every separate sketch. The accompanying Joke oF descriptive letter-press should in every instance be writien upon its indroidaal picture, and NOT upon a separate slip of paper. Inclosure of stamps to the fall amount of postage Is also required, lo insure safe and prompt return of material not accepted, HE UNSPEAKABLE NEBRASKAN is now under a deep, dense cloud that has not even a free-silver lining. \ Dévio PEANUT HILL is now facetiously alluded to as a grand old ruin overrun by the ivy of ob- livion, 1: 0 & ‘ HERE IS no brighter day in the life of the so-called American heiress than that on which the bargain- counter of the matrimonial market offers a number of counts marked down from grand dukes. eee - ARTHUR PUE GORMAN is now keeping so fear- fully and wonderfully still that he is said to make a background against which the frou-frou of an ordinary well-tuned mos- quito sounds like the moaning of a saw-mill. HE AVERAGE Democratic presidential timber is pretty well doctored with stain and veneer, so that a great deal of that which is a low grade of common pine and hemlock is made to look like the grand old hickory of yore. wee EUROPE still continues to empty its thugs and cutthroats on our shores with a prodigality that is heartrending and record-breaking. We now have foreign criminals of every type, and they are still coming in by the cargo and finding the word “ welcome” on the mat at the port of entry. These rats and vipers are spreading themselves all over the country; and it begins to look as if it may shortly become necessary for a game-law to be made and provided that these pests may be stalked and hunted in the open at certain seasons of the year. That the immigration statistics prove beyond a doubt that the influx of these condemned foreigners is a national menace is a fact that should cause the feelings of the conservative, old- fashioned American to come to the boiling-point. The fortune-hunting nobleman should find the limit of our social endurance; but when it comes to the vermin of the foreign slums landing on our shores in so wholesale a manner it is high time that a halt should be called for all time, that this nation may not become the home and the haven of crime and anarchy. OF THE GRIT of Sir Thomas Lipton there seems to be no end, and the fact that he is a sportsman to the core is one against which there is no voice of dissent or disapproval. He takes his medicine as if it were sugar-coated, and sighs for more with an Oliver-Twist-like eagerness. Sir Thomas is_ precisely the opposite of Dunraven, who was the Irish Lawson, and as such he is regarded from one end of the country to the other. It is quite likely that in the races to come the Irish baronet will have a fine opportunity to study the mysteries of rear elevations if he sails on Shamrock III., but, nevertheless, he will have a run—or, rather, a sail— for his money. Perhaps he is a firm believer in the saying that there is luck in odd numbers, and that on this, his third attempt to lift the cup, he will be successful. He is said to have made the statement that he will never give up the fight until he possesses the cup whose silver has so long lined the dark cloud of his dreams. We trust that he may keep up the battle indefinitely, and that his attempts will be an unbroken series of defeats—not that we care so much for the cup, but that we may have Sir Thomas with us at least every two years. He is a sane, congenial spirit, and as such we cannot see or have too much of him. “MER! FORTE. Mrs. Jonnson—"' Oh, yo" cheap, worn-out, wuthless, no-account bag ob nuffin’! Yo" ain't wuth two cents!"* Mr. Jounson (admiringly)—'* Good Lawd, Hafnah! what an insurance-adjuster yo'd make!" comicbooks.com