Judge, 1903-08-15 · page 3 of 16
Judge — August 15, 1903 — page 3: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains several unrelated humorous sketches typical of Judge magazine's format: 1. **"Totin' a Grudge"** (top left): A poem about holding grudges, illustrated with a prison cell window. 2. **"Nothing Wasted Nowadays"** (center): A miller asserts that even chaff isn't wasted, correcting a visitor's comment about "health-food." 3. **"The Heaving Swell," "How Careless," and "Felt Herself Buncoed"** (right): Brief joke vignettes about social situations and misadventures. 4. **"Doubtful Advice"** (center): A caricatured figure surrounded by food, discussing physical culture and diet. 5. **"Willing to Accommodate"** (bottom): A cartoon about a Mexican sombrero and tourism, depicting figures in exaggerated ethnic caricature style typical of early-20th-century humor magazines. The page exemplifies Judge's satirical approach to contemporary American social life and manners.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
‘TOTIN’ A GREDGE. 5] OW, upon my word an’ honor, ez a nabur an’ a friend, ‘There's one part uv human natur’ I right speedily would mend. Not thet sinners would be perfec’ by my speshus uy reform, ‘An’ the atmusphere uv livin’ be without a single storm ; But ‘twould smooth a lot uv fe'thers back to where they’ ought ter lay, An’ let the Master’s teachin’s kind uv hev the right uv way. Fer the mos’ unhappy mortal—an’ I claim ter be a jedge— Is the feller thet’s a-sulkin’ an’ a-totin’ uv a gredge. Don’t think thet I would hev you go an’ turn the other check Ev'ry time a churl's insultin’ in his langwidge, so to speak. It’s the gospel, I'll admit it, an’ it’s laid down purty flat, But a’cordin’ to my thinkin’ they’s a better way than that— Jes’ fergit the ¢hing’s a-livin’, an’ fergit the inj'ry, too, ‘An’ you'll find it pow'ful soothin’ from a fightin’ print uv view. These air thoughts uv gittin’ even air ez prickly ez a hedge To th’ man thet’s alwuz sulkin’ an’ a-totin’ uv a gredge. The world is plenty big enuff fer you an’ fer him, too, An’ they’s piles an’ scores uv better things thet you kin find ter do. Jes’ let the buster go his way, an’ likewise go your own— It's really arbitratin’, but decidin’ it alone ; An’ when you git ter feelin’ thet ter kill a man er two Would be somethin’ real consolin’ from an injur'd p'int uv view, Jey help some other feller ter fergit his wrongs, an) I pledge it beats the best uv schemin’ an’ uy totin’ uv a gredge. CHARLES W, STRVENSON. NOTHING WASTED NOWADAYS. ‘SEVEN the chaff is not wasted," observed the visitor to the miller who was show- ing him the various processes of making flour. THE HEAVING SWELL. “You mean,” corrected the honest miller, the health-food.” + **Yes, it was so rough the’ captaitt thought he'¢-heave to.*— + And what did you do?" “Why, I thought It best to heave, too.”* HOW CARELESS! 64] SAW Fuddlesome running down the street this morning,” says the first suburbanite. “ What was the matter ?" “He was going for a veterinary surgeon and a machinist,” explains the second suburbanite. “ What was wrong ?" “Last night he went out to his stable to see that everything was all right, and incidentally to fix his bay mule and his automobile for the night. You know how careless he is?” “Yes; but "— “Well, now the mule has gasolinitis and the auto has hay-fever.” FELT HERSELF BUNCOED. Mrs, Cobwigger: French restaurant a DOUBTFUL ADVICE. Mrs, Parvenue— Because | paid a big price No, Percy, Jupce cannot recommend any particular schoo! of physical culture; but if you , for a dish with a fancy name and it turned out to want to get "good and strong” why not try the above diet? be only a kidney stew. Why won't you go to that WILLING TO ACCOMMODATE, Fair Tourist—'" Oh, what a beautiful sombrero that Mexican has! Do you think you could Induce him to part with It, Mr. Broadshot ?"’ Guwwe (crack /)—" Sure, miss! You'll always find Rawback county ready to accommodate.”” comicbooks.com