Judge — August 1, 1903 — page 6: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

WHAT WE ARE COMING TO. HERE was hurry, there was scurry, There was praising all around ; For a story bringing glory To its author had been found. Itwas surely, it was purely, Ina dialect brand new, ‘And the paper cut a caper In its joy at what to do. All were smitten when ‘twas written, And its worth was loud- ly sung; For ‘twas plainly, it was sanely, In the simple English tongue. MCLANDBURGH wiLsoN. LACKED THE PROPERTIES. HE little girl who had been raised on the stage, and who was traveling with the company, met a poor little girl in the street near the hotel. “You look like the child of rich par- ents,” said the poor little girl. “Do you think your papa and mamma would give me anything 2” “And way should they 2” asked the little stage-girl. Because I am so poor. Why, my papa and mamma are pau- explained the other. 2 “You poo: ?” repeated the little stage-girl suspiciously. “I can- not believe you. It you are a pavzper, where are your diamond rings and your rt -v ear-drops 2" And shu * «ssed on, satisfied that she had unmasked an impostor. For she war t:markably well versed in the manners and customs of stage-paupers. pers, RECOMPENSE, ‘OU may think life is full of woe; But reason it out—it's not so raw. You'll find, as back your searchings go, That mothers-in-law have mother-in-law. gee. SUSPICIOUS. Hello, Grigsby! Accident ?"" That's my mother-in-law. ‘Shi"* Res , Keep quiet. See that woman lying over there, unconscious?” es. NOT WANTED. Uncue Joun— Automobile, eh? Why don't you let Harry play with you?” Grorce Anoenus—"' We are letting him play. He's my chauffeur, and he's under arrest.”” DECISIVE MEASURES. said the caller, «I have been appointed chairman of a —for next Tuesday. “ But we just had a rain, and the crops are looking well.” “Tknow; but we will consider it a great favor if you will pray your best for rain next Tuesda; “ And why are you so particular about next Tuesda} “The associated band of Thespians threatens to give an open-air performance of ‘As You Like It’ on that day.” AND STILL WE WONDER. Silas (reading head-lines in a newspaper)—“ By gum, ‘Mandy! here’s a féller made fifty thousand dollars in two years raisin’ ‘notes.’ Mrs, Silas—* What kind o' vegetation be ‘ notes," Si?" Silas—1'll be jig- gered if [know; but I'm goin’ tew send fer some o' the seed an’ raise noth- in’ else but them on the whole dern farm.” STILL BUSY. Visitor (at insane- asylum) —"Have you any celebrities here at present ?” Attendant—* Oh, yes. That lady yonder writes all the rhymes for a breakfast-food firm, and that man in the pad- ded cell makes out the summer-train schedule for a railway company.” HER REASON. Mrs. Dorcas—“Our club held its election to- day.” Dorcas—“As you're so advanced, my dear, I suppose you voted the straight anti ticket ?” Mrs. Dorcas—"Yes, for all except one candi- date. I didn't like the way she wore her back hair.” comicbooks.com