Judge, 1903-08-01 · page 4 of 16
Judge — August 1, 1903 — page 4: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains several unrelated satirical pieces typical of Judge's format: **"My Charmer"** and **"Judge's Favorites"** appear to be light verse about romantic relationships and social behavior—standard humor for the era. **"The Mysterious Art"** satirizes photography as a profession, with a woman learning that candid photos of her in riding clothes have been taken and "mounted" (professionally prepared). The joke plays on the novelty and invasiveness of photography. **"Compulsory Temperance"** depicts a drunk man being confronted about alcohol consumption—likely commentary on the temperance movement gaining momentum in early 20th-century America. **"The Dog Law"** and other pieces use doggerel verse and illustrations for domestic humor. **"Hard to Follow"** jokes about child discipline and counting. Overall, this is general-audience satire on social customs, not specific political commentary.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
MY CHARMER, HE has moods, I admit, Which I mind not a bit, And I smile at each whim she discloses. Sometimes, when I sue, She slaps me, ‘tis true, But the blow falls as lightly as roses. ‘Though not sure of my name, She hugs me all the same, ‘As chummy as any one may be. Oh, the things she stares at! (No real lady does that), But my charmer ‘s a two-year-old baby. ‘wits stent. THE MYSTERIOUS ART. +4 PHOTOGRAPHY is a strange profes- sion,” muses the young man. “ Because it develops negatives ?"asks THE HAIRS OF HIS HEAD WERE the young woman with a knowing look. NUMBERED.” “Not that exactly, But, as an exam- ple, the other day I had my picture taken in my riding-togs—not on a horse, you know, but just standing, in my riding-outfit, with my crop held in my hand. And to-day the pho- tographer writes me that the pictures are ready for me and that they are all mounted.” JUDGE'S FAVORITES. ROSE PARKER. With art supreme and airy skill Our rosy dream with Joy you fill Until, elate, we whirl our hat And put grim fate upon the mat, And keep It there In fashion fine, Oh, artist fair of curve and line! So whirl away and sweetly skip ‘That quick w2 may give care the slip. A VERSATILE ANIMAL. HE Sappho club had gathered together the aspiring sisters of a New England village. Hushing the eager babble which ushered in their quiet hour, the president sorrowfully announced the death of her valuable young cow. There was a chorus of condolences, then a sympathetic silence, pierced suddenly by the keen treble of a beight spember COMPULSORY TEMPERANCE, . Casey—" Kelly hazn’t th’ price av a dhrink.”” Costican—* How do yez know thot?" Casey—** He ain't dhrinkin .”* . Young ! what a pity, when eggs THE DOG LAW. Now let the stricken dears go weep, ‘And let the street-bands play, And let old tomcats caterwaul— ‘The dogs have lost their day. — Shakespeare up to date. OW muzzle up the King Charles “beaut” And leash the brindle Dane, And put a bird-cage on the pug ‘And rope the poodle vain. And put fly-paper on the ‘brute With ribbons in its wool, And gag the spaniel which so long Has had a family pull. Board up the lordly Newfoundland, Barb-wire the Saint Bernard, And hide that dachshund in the ice- Cream freezer in the yard. Get in your muzzle-order quick— The law will have it so. ‘The aldermen have spoken, and ‘Their say is sure to go. Theatrical manager— “You claim that your play is unusually true to life. In what way?" Playwright—" A week is supposed to elapse between HARD ATOAEOLLOW: each act, and there's a new Motwer—" When you get angry with Bobby Jones you must stop and count twenty.” ‘ i ‘Son—"'I tried that once, and he hit me so hard | counted twenty stars."” cook in every scene, comicbooks.com