Judge, 1903-06-06 · page 3 of 16
Judge — June 6, 1903 — page 3: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains several humor pieces rather than political cartoons: **"Helpful Advice"** and **"His Role"**: Brief anecdotes about social situations—a woman criticized for her shoe choices, and casting news about an actor named de Rantem. **"Bad Sign"**: Jokes about Scottish writer Ma Poowers and misunderstandings of Scottish dialect. **"Qualified"** and **"Where He Was"**: Short humorous exchanges about job qualifications and a mother's concern about her son. **"On the Lumber Schooner"**: A sketch depicting sailors on a ship, with dialogue about an overboard cook. These are light, domestic humor pieces typical of early 20th-century satirical magazines—no significant political references or caricatures of identifiable public figures appear here. The content emphasizes wordplay, social misunderstandings, and situational comedy rather than satire.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
HELPFUL ADVICE. aoa | AM surprised,” ob- served the demure lady,“ that you should take offense at my general re- marks,” Inasmuch as she had been saying things about the inherent stupidity of men who wore chin-whisk- ers, and the gentleman to whom she was addressing her remarks wore a beard ‘on that section of his face, he felt called upon to say that he believed she had meant him. * Oh, well,” she sniffed, “if you persist in taking that view of it, all I can say is that you ought to do as 1 do, and if the shoe fits you "——. She finished with a knowing shrug of the shoulders, He looked at her feet casually—quite innocently, in fact. “If the shoe fits you,” he mused as if to himself, «do not ask what size it is.” She tried to walk out with airy disdain, but it must be confessed that she was not altogether success- ful. ERS are moans the famous writer of Scotch dialect stories. “Hoot, laddie!” says his friend in cheerful tones ; “ye're ay: muckle better than ane weel cud expect frae ye." “T dinna ken,” sighs the author, albeit he bright- ens somewhat at the kindly words; “Idina ken. ‘Twas but the day [ writ soom deealect whilk I somelike felt I onnerstood masel’.” Shaking his head dour- ly, he endeavors to devise a isew way to misspell things. QUALIFIED. Superintendent (of gas works) — “What do you know about laying gas-pipes in the street 2” Applicant (for place as foreman) —""I know they hadn't oughter be laid until the street has just been re- paved.” He got the place. WHERE HE WAS. SO YES,” sighs the n sther, “Lam so often wor- ried about my boy John. You have no idea how much concerned a mother is when her son is on the tented HIS ROLE. 66] SEE that de Rantem is going to be a star next season,” observed Bru- field.” tus Futlites to Beatrice Lite- CCNCEITED? seis “ Ah!" says the sym- Mrs. Newweo~ ~ What are you thinking about, Tom ?"* i “ fats. Mr. Newwep-—" About the Gearest person in the world.” pathetic iisienen: 3vAnd “A shooting -star, no Mrs. Newwep—"" Oh, you conceited old thing!" what regiment is your son doubt,” commented Beatrice with that spontaneous wit which has made her press-agent famous ; “for L understand he is to have the leading réle in a wild-west drama.” LP with?" “Regiment? Oh, he isn’t with the army—he has gone out with Hoop and Holler’s circus and aggregation of allied astonishments. ON THE LUMBER SCHOONER. First mate—" The cook has been swept overboard, sir!"* Cartain—"* Hang her! 1 knew she'd leave without warning.” - comicbooks.com