Judge, 1903-05-23 · page 3 of 18
Judge — May 23, 1903 — page 3: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains three satirical pieces: 1. **"Heard About Them"**: A story mocking an Oriental potentate (King Mustafa Dhrinke of Casablanca) and his absurd demands of slaves, parodying exoticized depictions of non-Western rulers. 2. **"By Return Mail"**: A comic exchange about bachelor eligibility for marriage, with jokes about congressmen and baseball umpires—likely satirizing contemporary political figures' suitability as husbands. 3. **"Strike Season"** (upper right): Depicts labor unrest with workers demanding strikes and a smooth-talking politician dismissing their grievances, suggesting satire of both labor activism and political deflection during what appears to be early 20th-century industrial conflict. 4. **"A Rebuke"** (bottom): A brief comedic exchange about credit and goats, likely satirizing business or social pretensions. The overall tone mocks various contemporary institutions: imperialism, politics, labor relations, and social climbing.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
HE'D HEARD ABOUT ‘THEM. GITTING before his straw bungalow was Mustafa Dhrinke, king of Canabilia-on-the-bog. His slaves stood like a minstrel troupe in a semi- circle about him, salaam- ing so low that they burned their foreheads fon the hot sands of the desert. “By the beard of Pfeffer !* began the king, “here I've been ringing for a waiter for the past moon. Hereafter I swear by the left ear of Bryan that I will deduct a peso from your wajiis for ev- ery kilometre that you keep me waiting. What was that you served me yesterday a.m.? It up- set me entirely.” “That, oh, Pickle- face!" began the tallest slave in a sing-song tone of voice, arising and reading from a yellow papyrus, “was a United States senator from Chi- cago.” “ Well, the next time you serve one of those things,” yelled Mustafa, “if you'll just serve him without his whiskers it won't taste so much like bird’s-nest soup. Sabbe ? What have you on the men-u for tu-dhiy 2" “A. good mission replied the chef. it's hard to keep a good man down. Bring me a shredded hobo. Avaunt!* And they avaunted, i eee BY RETURN MAIL. Youns Jack Norweo—"' You don't think bachelors should be taxed for not marrying, do you?” Guapys BrireLr—' Dear me, no! Most of the bachelors | know deserve a‘ humane medal’ for staying single.” “To fudge with a missionary !" hoarsely replied the chief. “ My “Congress nuttin!” said the tough one in reply. “Dat feller stummique is too weak for that. Besides, these Amerikhans tell us used ter be a baseball umpire.” A REBUKE. Isaacstein—" Vill you gif me credit for a bill ohf goots, Cohen ?"” 2 Conen—" Mein hevings, Isaacstein! 1 gave you credit for having better senso as to expect me to gif you credit for anyt'ing. POVERTY. Mr. Newrocks — “What sort of folks are the Bluebloods next door, Mariah ?" Mrs. Newrocks (patronizingly)—" Pleas- ant; but they must be frighttully hard up. They haven't got any mechan- ical attachment for their piano and have to play it by hand.” STRIKE SEASON. HE laborers were standing en masse about the huge rostrum erected for the present occasion, On the plat- form, speaking with the emphasis of a full-blown orator and with the alle- gorical gesticulations of i a Demosthenes, was the champion of labor ques- tions. Strike! strike! strike!” he shouted, banging his fist on the rail confronting him. © Strike ! strike ! strike !" he shrieked at the end of each platitude. “No doubt he was at one time in congress,” said a smooth-faced in- dividual to the man standing beside him. comicbooks.com