Judge — May 23, 1903 — page 2: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Hage. PUBLISHED WEEKLY AT THE PARKER BUILDING, POURTH AVE.-AND NINETEENTH ST., NKW TORK, Western Avvexrisinc ‘quetie Building, Ohicag Terms to Subscribers. oy UNITED STATES AND CANADA IN ADVANCE pone year orsemumbers= = = One copy, at months cr zo numbers « ‘One copy, for thirteen weeks se ew Tncluding the Cnnistsas Jopcx FOREIGN SUBSCRIPTIONS—To all foreign countries in the postal union, $5.00 a year. EvRorean SALes-acexts—/aternational mews company, Bream ’s building, Chancery lane, jon. Brentane's, avenue de F Opera, Paris; Saarbach's mews exchange, Maint, JUDGE are protected by copyright in both the United States and Great Britais. pe with all mancscripts, ated. all contributions seat fo the Art Departmest should have the sender's tal: nd address written plainly on each and every separate sketch. The accompanylsg joke of criptive lelter-press should la every instance be writtes upon its ladivideal picture, and NOT upon a separate slip of paper. Inclosere of stamps 10 the full amoust of postage Is also required, to lasure safe and promp! ferial not accep! mF THE valuable time and energy that are wasted in hoping against forlorn hopes were put into hard work the workers would soon realize on their efforts and be able to stop hoping. HE MAN who causes two blades of grass to spring up where one blade formerly sprang up is certainly a genuine benefactor to the public in gen- eral and to the lawn-mower manufacturer in partic ular. eee BETWEEN the sonata of the mosquito and the squawkata of the bluejay the suburbs are now, whirling in a maze of merry minstrelsy that shatters alike the nerves of the just and the unjust, and that \ sets on edge the teeth of nature and of art. WE ARE now hearing a great deal of fence-talk on the threadbare sub- ject of Democratic possibilities. There is one Democratic possibility, though, that is not causing us any uneasiness or insomnia at the present writing, and that is the possibility of any kind of a Democratic victory. HE LATEST INVENTION to startle the scientific world is known as the automobile lawn-mower. After a while the shawled father of Brooklyn may revel in the unique blessing of the automobile baby-car- riage. [TJS SAID that only an Egyptologist of many years standing can note the existing shades of difference, which are said to be very subtle, be- tween the hand-made cigarettes of Cairo and those which are run out of machines with Chicago-sausage-like rapidity at Paterson, New Jersey. ‘THE BATTLE between labor and capital goes merrily on, and is practi cally a continuous performance. The air is always full of strikes and rumors of strikes. As time is money, it is quite impossible to ascertain which throws away the greater amount of refrigerated cash—the capitalist or the laborer. They are both lending to this sterling friend and stand-by all the wings that can be given by a shovel in the hands that never weary or cease. They are scattering dollars like seeds that yield no crop except that of trouble and disaster—a crop that never fails. They both sow and reap the same crop, and yet there is no bond of sympathy or friendship between them. Consequently they should be compelled to submit to the decision of an arbitrator whose word, like that of the baseball umpire, should be law. The arbitrator should be empowered to put them off the field or to fine them in the event of their uprising to do him bodily injury. As all other methods have been futile, it seems but fair that such a course should be pursued in the hope that the day may soon dawn when alll their differences may be adjusted, and that the world may see the unique picture of labor and capital lying down lion- and lamb-like together. USSIA has a keen, razor-edged greed that works night and day and never thinks of indulging in the luxury of a vacation. Her appetite never needs tuning or honing. It is always on edge and ready for busi- ness; and although it cannot be said that the Russian bear makes it a practice to eat the national candle at both ends, it must be admitted that he is always on hand when the honey of conquest looms up. He cannot bite off as much as he can chew, and he cannot chew as much as he can swal- low. He is practically an ostrich when it comes to digestion and assimila~ tion, and it is therefore quite natural that his Manchurian tactics should raise the hubbub from one end of China to the other that is now re-echoed in every Chinese laundry in America, and to the end that ructions, not to say merry hades, will be raised with all collars and cuffs that drift into the hands of Wun Lung bearing such names as Donandoffski, Rackingkoff, or Demitasseski. The bear will continue, if possible, to hold on to all he has gathered with a cast-iron grip or hug, and to dance to the music of the howls of the other nations that are disgruntled. His grin is as suulful as that of his relative that stands in front of the fur-store, and, in the express- ive language of the day, he feels that he is all to the good. Ih 1 Proressor Puzziewuzz.e—"' Pooh, pooh! There's nothing in this spirit theory. Bosh! pure boshl— —1!—feel—faint!— THE DOUBTING PROFESSOR AND THE GIBBERING GHOST; OR, HE NEARLY BELIEVED. 6. —Well, | might have known it!"* comicbooks.com