Judge, 1903-05-02 · page 4 of 16
Judge — May 2, 1903 — page 4: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page combines humorous short pieces with illustrations typical of early 20th-century satirical magazines. **"A Pioneer"** mocks Philetus Magoon, a merchant who built wealth through aggressive annual sales events (white goods, china, millinery, ribbons). The satire criticizes his repetitive marketing strategy and exaggerated self-promotion as a "merchant-prince," suggesting his success comes from relentless salesmanship rather than genuine innovation. **Other sections** ("Judge's Favorites," "An Acquired Taste," "Letter-Perfect," "The Usual Thing," "Accounted For," "Her Balance of Trade") are brief comedic anecdotes and poems about domestic situations, courtship, and social dynamics—common Judge content. The illustrations are whimsical line drawings accompanying these humorous vignettes, not political cartoons. The page reflects Judge's focus on social satire and domestic humor rather than political commentary.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
A PIONEER. WHEN Philetus Magoon opened his dry-goods establishment in Opolusville he at once advertised “Our first annual January sale of white-goods.” In February he agi- tated the ladies with his “first an- nual sale of china.” In March he had his “first annual sale of millinery.” In April he held his “first annual sale of ribbons,” and so on through the year. The next year he held a series of monthly “second annual sales.” This went on for nearly ten years, when Mr. Magoon, by that time grown fabulously rich and known as the Opolusville merchant- prince, advertised in sweeping let- ters, “Culmination of a century of effort! Our one-hundredth annual sale! One hundred years of merchandising!" This attracted attention from the outside, and it was seen that Philetus Magoon was too good at OFF COLOR. JUDGE'S FAVORITES NELLIE ADAMS IN ‘SULTAN OF SULU.”” Oh, lovely rose, from Eden tost, You'll e'er be proof against the frost! No frost can blight those charms that we Observe with thrills of ecsta-see. They'll ever wear the smile of spring And keep our fancies on the wing. And make us feel as young alway As you look smiling in the play. AN ACQUIRED TASTE. AT A luncheon to which little Mary and her mother were invited a peculiar kind of cake, new to the three-year-old, was served. After tasting it thoughtfully she said, Mother, I wish you'd get the recipe for this.” “Why, darling 2" said the gratified hostess. * Do you like it ?” “Not at all,” answered the cherub decided- ly; “but if mother ‘d make it and make it 1 might learn to like it.” LETTER-PERFECT. A GIRL who was awfully y's Met an old man with love in his i's. He fell on his knees S| 1 I And said, Marry me, please.” THE USUAL THING. : ; Oh, yes: I have written a few things."* She soon did o. k. that lively old j Indeed? And what Is your ‘ pen-name'?”” On account of his x's and Dennis,’ so far."* figures to be permitted to waste his talent; so he was induced to accept the presidency of a trust which required that he construct two billion dollars in capital from assets consisting of one ocean, five reams of stock, and a broken type- writer. After that he had his own steam-yacht and builded a costly palace. In this country there is no avenue that does not hold forth marvelous promise to the young man of ideas. HER BALANCE OF TRADE. ¢4] SUPPOSE, dear,” said Mrs. Greene to her husband, “if these saloon-keepers raise prices ‘on account of the increased liquor tax you men will get even by tak- ing smaller drinks.” REGOUNTED ROR: 7 Mr. Greene looked at her sus- Quo Jones (savagely): You are the most inefficient caddie I ever saw! Why don't you keep your eyes open?” piciously, but made no immediate Capoie—"* Well, I ain't used to caddieing for married folks.”" reply. comicbooks.com