Judge, 1903-04-04 · page 3 of 16
Judge — April 4, 1903 — page 3: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains several satirical pieces targeting early 20th-century social issues: **"Wrong for Once"** mocks a husband who writes gibberish while his wife complains about unintelligible English—satirizing either literary pretension or foreign immigrant speech. **"The Up-to-Date Jail"** jokes that wealthy automobile criminals get luxurious prison cells, mocking class-based justice disparities. **"From Stake to Steak"** and **"Will Be Imported"** reference theater and cake-walk entertainment, likely satirizing commercialism and cultural imports. **"Good Advice"** portrays a woman seeking to write love stories based on experience, with commentary on society drama and deduction. **"A Filler"** at bottom shows three men discussing cocktails and poetry, satirizing artistic pretension among social drinkers. Overall, the page targets class privilege, linguistic absurdity, and cultural pretension typical of Judge's satirical approach.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
WRONG FOR ONCE. IS wife came into the room where he was sitting. She was twisting herself around in the effort to look at the back of her new shirt-waist. By the tense lines and bulging aspect about her lips he knew that her mouth was full of pins. He knew it anyway, without looking for those symptoms. Umph-goof-wuff-wuff-sh-th-bi-fspF-Ff," she said. Yes, it looks all right,” he answered, resuming his paper. + Owf-wufl-gs- pf-snf-ug-ug-ug-w-r-r-r-ooghsth,” she mumbled. “Of course it does,” he assured her, glancing over the top of the paper. “It fits like the paper on the wall.” ssh-uzuzuz-woll-gph-m-m-m-sh-p-2-2-2," she said, stamping her foot. “Didn't [ tell you it was all right ?" asked the man, lowering his paper. “ Mebbe it needs, a little taking up in the shoulders, but nobody could notice it.” Hastily letting the pins fall from her mouth to her hand, she cried, “T've asked you three times to raise the window: shades so I could get more light. It’s a pity you can't understand plain English.” Of course the man could have said some- thing saucy in reply, but he knew if she became too angry she would buy another shirt-waist. THE UP-TO-DATE JAIL. Visitor—* You don't mean to say that these luxuriously fitted up apartments are cells 2" Warden—* Yes ; they are re- served exclusively for our wealthy automobile prisoners.” FROM STAKE TO STEAK. horse must go." Full soun be A figment and a fable. The auto on the road we see, The equine un the table. WILL BE IMPORTED. SOT HE cake-walk, which has COB NOVIEE: lost its vogue here,” said - Miss Otpoirt (who writes)—"' | am thinking of writing a fove-story founded on my own experience.”* the first man, “is reported to be Miss Mavsupp—" Oh, dear me! couldn't you bring it to a happier ending ?”" all the rage in Paris.” “Ah,” commented the second man, “that means that it will be Knowing from whence we get our society dramas, the first man is seen in our higher-priced theatres at last.” forced to acknowledge the truth of his deduction. A FILLER. Scripster—' | blowed the editor off to six cocktalls, and he took my poem." ‘Sracer—" Yes; his motto is, ‘ Anything to fill up,’ "* comicbooks.com