Judge, 1903-03-28 · page 6 of 16
Judge — March 28, 1903 — page 6: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page from Judge contains multiple short satirical pieces typical of early-20th-century humor magazines: **"The Spring Style"**: Mocks high fashion's constant changes. A wife announces new low-neckline dresses; her husband jokes that while collars disappear from clothing, they'll appear on his bills—implying fashion's expense never changes. **"The Demands of Art"**: Satirizes publishers' and illustrators' inefficiency. A book was delayed a month because illustrations didn't match the text, requiring rewrites. **"The New Baby"**: A father boasts his infant shows inherited intelligence and college training (repeating a college yell). A cynical listener finds this ridiculous. **Other brief jokes** mock: a man needing stronger glasses due to high collars; a worker threatened with being "collared" for losing work collars; a diner receiving maple syrup instead of honey; and contrasting business philosophies about risk management. The humor relies on wordplay, absurdity, and gentle social observation rather than political commentary—typical of Judge's general satirical approach.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
THE SPRING STYLE. SHE new spring fash- ions,” says the happy wife, who has just returned from a visit to her modiste, “show a great many changes. For instance, the dresses will not have any collars on them, but will be cut really low in the neck.” « Huh !” snorts the lov- ing husband, “I know, though, that I will get the neck when the bill comes in, That style never changes.” ‘THE DEMANDS OF ART. S6\JHATSS the matter WwW with your book, Scribbler? It was to have come out a month ago.” “Tknow; but it didn’t ht the pictures that the il- TOO FAR OFF. lustrators drew for it, so of Mr. Girarre—‘'I must certainly buy myself a stronger course I had to r-ewrite a COULD, BUT HE COULDN'T. pair of glasses or give up wearing high collars. I can't see a as Cuimmie—" Gee! De boss said if 1 lost any uv dese thing at this disatee. . good part of it. collars an’ cuffs I'd be coilared an’ cuffed.” ‘THE NEW BABY. SA THAT new baby of mine Mr. Tigg, “is the smartest that ever happened.” “Oh, they are all smart,” growls Mr. Clarke, who has heard these things before. “ But this child,” went on Tigg, “actually shows signs of intellect that are remarkable. Why, the youngster is manifesting the fact that it inherits some of my college training.” “ What are you giving me?” “Fact. “You ought to hear it repeat my old college-yell.” Mr, Samples (in dining-room of country hotel) —«" By Jove ! I ordered wheat-cakes and honey and you have brought maple syrup. Where's my AUTHORITATIVE. honey ?” Carrai (of Yl i ihe rangers) —" You're a nice-lookin'lot wv Injun-fighters!_Injun-fighters never go barefoot ‘Miss Draw One— Oh, she was Cartain—"* Not on yer life! Don't every dime novel distinctly state dat dey always dies wid deir boots on?” fired since the day before yesterday.” SPRING-TIME. THE pansy and the mignonette The lily by the take, The rose, the ul the fern ‘The flowers all abut b Bewildered by th That breaks their slumbers when they hear ‘The clanging four-o'clock. AFTER THE OPERA. Aunt Maria—" And did you see the ballet-dancers, Sammy 2?” Sammy—"1 saw some women dancing with lamp- shades on.” A MODERN DISEASE. Anxious mother — Tell me, doctor; is it a dangerous case 2” Physician—1 fear it is. He has breakfastfooditis in an : 25 Jones—"' My idea of business is to put all your eggs In one basket and watch that basket.”” advanced stage.’ ‘Surrm—" My idea ts to put all your eggs in one incubator and heat that incubator."” comicbooks.com