Judge, 1903-03-21 · page 6 of 16
Judge — March 21, 1903 — page 6: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page collects multiple satirical vignettes mocking domestic life and social pretension: **"He Hatched Trouble"** uses avian metaphors (duck, bird, roost, coop, pelican, henpecked) to ridicule a husband whose poor word choice—calling his wife his "little duck"—offends her by implying she's not young. The escalating marital conflict culminates in him abandoning home, satirizing both masculine insensitivity and female vanity. **"His Ready Answer"** jokes about urban poverty: a man making repeated small payments suggests financial desperation masked by false sophistication ("branch office"). **"The Mummy's Comment"** references minstrel shows (likely blackface performers), with an ancient Egyptian mummy finding their humor so stale it belongs in a tomb—satirizing both the act's dated nature and cultural disrespect. **"The Real Twentieth-Century Spirit"** concludes the page, mocking art appreciation: a professor's eloquent description of a painting's genius suddenly reduces to its monetary value ($14,000), exposing shallow materialism masquerading as cultural refinement. The consistent theme: appearance versus reality in modern American life.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
se ALAS HE HATCHED TROUBLE. sighs the poor husband as his wife leaves the room and he picks himself out of the debris of the hook - shelves ; what a goose I was to call her my little duck !" He buries himself in sor- rowful reflections. “Yes,” he moans, " that was what started it all, At that time I did not know she was no spring chicken. I thought she was a bird.” He rubs his nose and fin- gers his ears gingerly. “T thought, when [asked her to share my nest,” he mutters, "that would rule the roost.” Thinking anew of the poker- party to which he had been invited that evening, and to which, because of circumstances beyond his control, he was not going, he said, “What a jay L was! No won- der she calls me an old pelican! And no wonder the neighbors say I am henpecked !" “alas! He begins tearing his hair again, when his wife re-enters the room. The sight of him ruffles her. “Come off the perch !" she snaps. There is a limit to human cn- durance. That night he flew the coop. HIS READY ANSWER. “Didn't | just give you a quarter down on Twenty-third street?” “Yes, ma'am: I've got a branch office there.”* PROOF THAT SOUND ASCENDS. “Isn't it lovely and quiet up’ here, Jack?" "Yes, dear, We're right above Phila- delphia.”” HE man who is satisfied with himself sel- isfies others. Proresson Ure (showing his pupils through the museum of art) boys, I wish you would pay closer attention. THE MUMMY’S COMMENT. HE Megatherian minstrels, on their grand tour of the world, visited Egypt. They gave a performance in one of the ancient temples, surrounded by the mumfhies of long-forgotten dynasties. Mr. Chestnut Bones arose during the performance and told his side-splitting joke about the mother-in-law. whispered the mummy of Rameses IIL. to his neighbor ; “Ptolemy, tell Thoth- mes L., on your right, that his court-jester has come to life again.” “ Ptolem HOW HE CONSIDERED IT. COVELL, Lunderstand that you are as good as married,” remarked the first young man. As good? Better—much better! I'm not even engaged,” replied the other. THE REAL TWENTIETH-CENTURY SPIRIT. “Now, This picture is by one of the world’s greatest painters. | want you to notice particularly the beautiful cloud effect, the trees enveloped in the early morning mist, and see how the brook 1s kissed by the trembling light. This, boys, is a work of genius—I say, it's a work of genius—§ —It cost fourteen thousand dollars.”" comicbooks.com