Judge, 1903-03-21 · page 5 of 16
Judge — March 21, 1903 — page 5: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page satirizes early 1900s **medical and hygiene mania**—the obsessive adoption of newly scientific health practices. The main cartoon shows a schoolmaster interrogating a boy with absurd questions: Has he been vaccinated? Had his appendix removed? Does he use sterilized milk? Wear a camphor-bag? Own disinfected drinking cups? The joke targets how contemporary society had become *obsessed* with the latest medical recommendations, many based on germ theory and antiseptic principles then revolutionizing medicine. The accumulation of ridiculous requirements—even a "pasteurized certificate of baptism"—mocks this excess. The page includes unrelated filler (March weather joke, Irish dialect dialogue about St. Patrick's Day, a Roman orator anecdote about a lumber-shed salesman, and a romantic joke about a count's proposal). These were typical of Judge magazine's miscellaneous satirical content. The satire reflects genuine 1903 anxieties: modern science was transforming daily life faster than society could rationally process.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
OF 1903, OMMY, have you been vaccinat- ed?" Pananyr Staves « Yes, ma'am.” “Have you had your vermi- form appendix removed ?” « Yes, ma’am.” “Do you use sterilized milk ?” Yes, ma'am.” “Is your home connected with the city sewer? « Yes, ma’am “Have you shed all your milk-teeth 2” ~ All but one.” “ Have you a certificate of inoculation for the croup, chicken-pox and measles ?* «Yes, ma‘am.” “Is your lunch put up in Dr. Koch's patent antiseptic dinner-pail 2” « Yes, ma‘am.” “Have you your own sanitary slate- rag and disinfected drinking-cup ?” «Yes, ma’ “Do you wear a camphor-bag round your throat, a collapsible life-belt, and in- sulated rubber heels for crossing the trol- ley-line 2" * All of these.” « Have you a pasteurized certificate of baptism?” «Yes, ma'am.” “And a life-insurance_non-forfeitable policy against all the encroachments of old age?" «Yes, ma’am,” “Then you may hang your cap on the insulated peg set opposite your distinguish- ing number, climb into your seat, and. pro- ceed to learn along sanitary lines.” MARCH. ARCH is full Of terrible gales— Also full Of hosiery sales. DURING THE PARADE. O'Callahan (in protest)—« Shtop yer foolin'! i'm too good a frind av yez t° foight yez on Saint Pathrick's day.” O'Hoolahan (warningly)—" Yee may hov bin a good frind, O'Callahan; but, bigob! if yez won't foight me yez are no frind av moine frum now on.” HIS OPPORTUNITY. +4 YE WHO have tears to shed,” exclaimed the Roman orator to the assembled citizens in the forum ; * ye who have tears to shed prepare to shed them now.” « Excuse me for interrupting,” begged a hawk-nosed man who arose near the orator; “ but I wish to state at this junc- ture that if it is any accommodation to any of you my lumber-shed is now empty, and Tam prepared to rent floor-space at a small amount monthly, payable in advance.” j It is recorded that he then broke all CASH ON DELIVERY. previous records for the thousand-yard dash Louise (soliloquizing)—'* Well, the count expressed his feelings to me all right, but he made a big mis- along the Appian way. take in expressing them c. 0. d. to papa." comicbooks.com