Judge, 1903-03-14 · page 7 of 16
Judge — March 14, 1903 — page 7: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page from Judge (an early 20th-century American satirical weekly) contains multiple unrelated humorous sketches mocking social types and situations: **"Knocking the Hero"** satirizes the envious cynic who resents a decorated military officer's social popularity, attempting to deflate him with snide remarks about his "glad rags" (formal uniform). **"Hard Luck"** depicts two con men discussing failed schemes—one mentions passing bad checks on his honeymoon, showing petty criminal incompetence. **"Once, Anyway"** mocks a brewer defending adulterated beer by claiming bar-tenders' dancing club stores "hops" in the building—a nonsensical defense. **"The Trail Was Changed"** features a derelict claiming he once led progress but society abandoned him and his "perpetual-motion machine"—poking fun at unsuccessful inventors. **"For Art's Sake"** jokes about a theatrical tour's failure due to a Mexican law requiring posters to accurately depict what's shown (they advertised champagne-drinking they couldn't afford). The sketches collectively ridicule pretension, failed ambition, and social climbing of the era, typical Judge fare targeting middle-class anxieties and absurdities.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
KNOCKING THE HERO. THE cynical person is obviously irritated when the famous hero steps into the room. The damsels who have up to that time hung upon the epigrammatic conver- sation of the cynical person forsake him at once and cluster three or four deep about the hero. Inwardly writhing, the cynical one steps into the group and says to the hero, “I see you are wearing your glad rags this evening.” “Glad rags?” repeats the hero with some hauteur. “Sir, I wish you to understand that I am wearing my general's uniform to- night.” * Ah, indeed 2” comments the cynic.“ And does your general kniow it? Pepe ae ENVY. ) HE man who is willing to meet trouble half way seldom has to Mouse thy, wliat heal’ “There they hase bed entinig fa an Neue ant go that far to meet it. not one will come out and give me a chance.” ' —— THE TRAIL WAS CHANGED. (4 YOU should endeavor to keep up with the times,” we say to the seedy stranger. “Sir,” retorts the seedy stranger, “at one time I was away ahead of the times, and, my sorrow, the times refused to follow my trail, but turned to one side, leaving me m4." rooned, as you see.” | Continuing, he would have expatiatell upon his perpetual-motion machine, but wp hurried on. ml ere | nn | FOR ART'S SAKE. First mana; cal tour in Mexico cond mani “ Why did your theatr}- nd so sudden! You know they have a law there that requires you to reproduce e4- actly what your posters show 2” | First manager—Ve gods! is that the truth, Autolycus ?" Second manager—" MW is. Our poste showed a party drinking champagne. We a ee walked home, Our end was not sudden, bit First suxco man—'! hear you were maried last June. Where did you pass your honeymoon?" Naan . . . Second BuNco MAN—'* At the very first jay town I tried to pass a cheque.”* it was definitive. ONCE, ANYWAY. 44S IR,” says the angry patron to the brewer, “have had a chemical analysis made of the beer you are sending me and I find that it is composed entirely of adulterants, ce) I don't believe there ever was a proper ingredient of beer in your brewery.” “Oh, yes, there w: lares the brewer. “The bar-tenders’ dancing club holds all its hops in the building. A HAPPY TEAM. W DANC "g And do our best ly spring c merry jest. Sand Tog T With grins grotesque We waken glee In arabesque And filigree. Our great high kick Cannot be beat We are so quick Upon our feet ‘That ne'er we balk Or sigh “lack! As home we walk Along the track. ACCOUNTED FOR. Cholly—“ My horse never shies at anything.” She —" Well, he's used to seeing you, Cholly.” NO RISK. “Faith, an’ I'm not runnin’ anny risks av shtandin’ trial fer bein’ caught widout me uniform on, comicbooks.com