Judge, 1903-03-14 · page 6 of 16
Judge — March 14, 1903 — page 6: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This satirical piece mocks theatrical producers engaged in a costume-spending arms race. Rival theaters compete by advertising increasingly expensive costumes—$50,000, $75,000, $150,000—to attract audiences. An astute manager, unable to match these claims credibly, achieves victory through absurdist reversal: he announces his production spent only $25, calling it "A Barefaced Lie." The joke satirizes both theatrical hype and public gullibility—the counterintuitive claim paradoxically succeeds where honest competition fails. The title "A Barefaced Lie" appears to be the fictional play's name, emphasizing the satire's meta-commentary on deception in entertainment marketing. The page's other brief comedic sketches ("An Estimate," "Sapient Suggestion," "Self-Assertive," "Settling the Question") are unrelated vignettes featuring Irish-accented characters and domestic humor typical of Judge's lighter content.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
A FLASH OF INSPIRATION. ORELY perplexed, the astute dramatic manager rubs his brows. Before him are spread the newspapers bearing the an- nouncements of rival attractions. One proclaims: “Over fifty thousand dollars spent in costuming this production.” “ And,” sighs the astute manager, “they are packing the house each night.” Another rival declares: “Seventy-five thousand dollars’ worth of dazzling, delightful costumes worn by our artistes !" “They are turning them away right along,” moans the astute manager. A third rival shouts: One hundred and fifty thousand dollars is invested in the costumes of our magnificent com- pany !" * And this show,” grieves the astute manager,‘ has to put the orchestra under the stage continually !" Beating his head, he ponders. What can he do? To claim to have spent two hundred thousand dollars in costumes were manifestly absurd. The public would hoot at him. At last the inspiration comes to him. “Thave it!" he cries. “The victory is mine! 1 will have to run a number two company next door to take care of the overflow from the regular show He hurries to the newspaper offices and to the job printers and to the lithographers, and amazes the theatre- going public by announcing : «Less thar twenty-five dollars has been expended on the materials for the costumes of the chorus and principals in the marvelous production of ‘A Barefaced Lie’ by Curtain & Dropp !" One week later the members of the rival companies are counting ties. AN ESTIMATE, MR. OTOOLE met Mr. O'Tunder when the latter was carrying home a jug of the cratur, and Mr. O'Tunder, naturally, politely invited Mr. O'Toole to «rest a bit an’ wet yer phwhistle wit’ a wee dhrap.” Mr. O'Toole promptly complied, but was an unconscion- ably long while in the dampening process. He glued the jug to his lips and gurgled and gulped until he worked Mr. O'Tunder into a state of excitement. “ By garry !" growled O'Tunder, when at last, with a long sigh, O'Toole set down the jug. “By garry! It that's th’ koind av phwhistle yez hov, yez ought t’ hoire out t’ a shtame boat !” SAPIENT SUGGESTION, 8¢(GENTLEMED says the commander-in-chief, “it fills my bosom with joy to know that we at last may rest trom the trials, tibulations and vicissitudes of bitter war ; to know that peace has spread her gentle wings over our beloved land, and that we may beat our swords into plowshares and ‘our spears into pruning-hooks, and *- “ T guess not,” interrupts a pt le. “I guess not, gen- eral, We are going to keep our weapons. The history of this country shall record one war which produced some bona- fide relics.” SELF-ASSERTIVE. SSPE GALL is what you might call cheeky, eh 2” SETTLING THE QUESTION. “Cheeky? That fellow has so much cheek that they Barsara—* Mamma says that after we are married she'll come and show us i eaenis how to keep house. charge him double for a shave ! ChoLty—" That settles it, We board!" comicbooks.com