Judge, 1903-02-28 · page 4 of 16
Judge — February 28, 1903 — page 4: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains several short satirical pieces and illustrations typical of early 20th-century Judge magazine humor. **"She Wasn't Quite Certain"** mocks a husband's uncertainty about his wife's whereabouts, suggesting domestic carelessness. **"His Busy Day"** depicts Adam naming animals, with a pun on "pterodactyl" pronunciation—light wordplay humor. **"Shattered"** satirizes poor English speech, with characters mocking a German-speaker's fractured English as "broken English" and comparing him unfavorably to a janitor. **"A Superlative Witness"** shows a courtroom scene where a witness claims to have an "eye-witness" to prove the prisoner's guilt—likely wordplay on the term. **"The Model"** and **"An Acceptable Reputation"** appear to be society/theater jokes referencing actors and social pretension. The overall tone targets immigrant speech, class distinctions, and urban social dynamics.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
SHE WASN'T QUITE CERTAIN. Mr. Robinson (in even- ing dress, tafking to colored maid in hall) —* Jane, do you know anything of my wife's whereabouts ?” Jane —"No, sah, not fo’ certain; but I t'ink dey am in de wash.” HIS BUSY DAY. ADAM was naming the animals, The ptero- dacty! slipped into the line and came forward again. “Here!” exclaimed Adam ; *didn't I 7 ee eg ee “SET IN HER WAY." once ? « Yes, sir,” answered the pterodactyl. “I merely wished to ask you how to pro- nounce my name.” “Go look in the dictionary,” replied Adam. «I'm busy enough telling the Smiths, Smithes and Smythes how to spell their names without being bothered by you.” JUDGE'S FAVORITES AMELIA STONE IN ‘A CHINESE HONEYMOON,” We fancy, as you trip, All builded of elastic, We'd love to see you skip For aye the light fantastic, And murmur, as you flip The flap that care unravels, We'd hate to see you skip This city on your travels. SHATTERED. HAT grocer of ours speaks the most fragmen- tary English of any one I ever heard,” said Mr. Precise. “You mean ‘broken English,’ my dear,” cor- rected Mrs. Precise.“ You know he is a German.” “1 mean fragmentary,” repeated Mr. Precise. « The man stutters. (CROMWELL, highly elated, exclaimed, « They have called me ‘the uncrowned king *!" “But what good does that do you?” asked his counselors. “It places me on a par with the janitor,” said the happy Oliver. Forthwith he proceeded to act the part in the A SUPERLATIVE WITNESS. house of parliament by throwing out half the mem- prov ge You allege the prisoner punched you In the eye. Have you any witness here to rs. Pat—""Yis, yer anner. Falx, Ol hov an ‘ eye-witness" here t’ prove it."* j silty ; THE MODE, AN iy ar i z THE day of judgment had ar- 1 Wn rived, Long and lustily Gabriel sounded the last trump. The plebeians and the hoi polloi, to say nothing of the sans culotte, responded readily enough. But itt: one corner of the earth a little group of people * insisted upon sitting with their backs to Gabriel, heeding not his musical selections, and in- tently talking to one another. Indeed, it was some little time before society could be- come quite reconciled to heav- en, the population being sc mixed. [F MEN were as good as they i Id not AN ACCEPTABLE REFUTATION. i. stains te be ed wen: Hasiy—" I understand you once was an actor.” ave to claim to be as good Ewpgtar—" A malicious lie! I've been a dramatic critic all my days and know nothing whatever about acting.”* they are. comicbooks.com