Judge, 1903-02-21 · page 7 of 16
Judge — February 21, 1903 — page 7: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page collects several humorous pieces satirizing early 20th-century American life: **"A Commercial Traveler"**: Uses Cupid as a traveling salesman ("drummer") selling wares—a metaphor for love as commerce. The joke: even those claiming not to want romance end up "purchasing" hearts anyway. **Editor's Note**: Mocks editorial exhaustion with a tired joke format (appendicitis humor), showing how quickly satire becomes stale and overused. **"Court-Room Farce"**: Ridicules will contests where relatives claim a deceased's non-inheritance proves insanity—implying greed-driven lawsuits. **"Rural Interpretation"**: A rural parent misunderstands Yale coaching as leading to expensive automobile outings, satirizing generational confusion over education costs. **"Good Old Puritan Days"**: Contrasts Puritan severity with modern behavior through forest squirrel scenes—likely mocking nostalgic views of stricter past morality. The scattered romantic verses mock sentimental poetry and impoverished suitors unable to afford their girlfriends' expensive tastes. Overall, the page targets pretension, commercialism, and social climbing.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
A COMMERCIAL TRAVELER. UPID, with ngs and bow, Was see’ -door to go. “Tama drummer, I would have you know, And I have samples of my wares to show," * Although he doesn't even wear a. No drummer ever dressed himself like that, All men have got a heart, you know, or two, So we don't care to purchase one of you."" Alas! that artful Cupid knew his game, And showed his finest samples just the same. The little rogue! before he did depart Had sold each man, for cash, another heart. pres EVERYBODY HAS THEM NOW. HE editor-in-chief of the comic weekly called his staff about him. “Gentlemen,” he observed, “I perceive a tendency on your part to continue producing ap- pendicitis jokes. Cut them out, please.” COURT-ROOM FARCE. These will-breakers, who, think’ their rich relative must have been crazy because he didn't leave them any money. % A RURAL INTERPRETATION. “Our son writes from Yale that he expects to coach the football eleven. ho' hires. He'll be wantin’ ter take ‘em out autermobeelin’ next, b'gosh!"* Bercussed ef I'll pay fer anny 0” his ‘ tally- IN THE GOOD Davourer—" Here are some nuts for thee, squirrel."" Parent—"'Ha! I have discovered her secret trysting-tree letter” OLD PURITAN DAYS. "Sdeath! A me A Tue souirrer-;"* Steal my food, will you?" 66] HAVE gone on the stage,” boasted the ambitious Thespian, “to make a name for myself.” “You will find,” said the candid friend, that the gal- lery-gods will save you all that trouble, once they see you.” TO DORIS. DORIS: empty now the place i Where my heart was wont to be. With the skill of all your graces, Won't you fill it up for me? #4 MUSIC is the food of love,” said the impecunious young man who had promised to take his best girl to the opera, “but I wish that girl hadn't such an expensive ap- petite.” ia hdl > , 7 2" a 2 (Crunch! Wow! comicbooks.com