Judge, 1903-02-14 · page 7 of 16
Judge — February 14, 1903 — page 7: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This satirical page from Judge magazine (early 20th century) contains several humor pieces mocking contemporary society: **"As Business Developed"** ridicules expert testimony by showing a handwriting expert whose analysis supposedly relied on consulting absurd people—a globe-trotter, a bunco-man, a cheese-maker—for examining different letters. It satirizes the pretentiousness of "expert" witnesses in legal cases. **"His Scheme"** depicts Irish immigrant dialect humor (common in period comedy) showing a man "trolling for pickerel" by tying a hook to his dog's tail—mocking rural naïveté. **"A Bull Market"** references J.P. Morgan, the powerful financier, joking that because he owns a shipping line, the ship won't sink badly during a crash—commentary on Morgan's financial dominance and the 1907 banking crisis era. **Other pieces** include limericks, office-boy jokes, and a quip about "wireless telegraph" technology (the wireless telegraph was new, making the joke about laying wires absurd). The page reflects Judge's satirical targets: legal pomposity, wealth/finance, immigration, and modern technology anxiety.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
AS BUSINESS DEVELOPED. =—SUT why,” asks the lawyer for the SEY defendant of the eminent hand- writing expert, “are you so cock- sure that your decision on this chirography is correct?” ir,” replies the expert with nity, “ T have had the i's examined by my consulting ocu- list, the p's, by my gardener, the b’s by my apiarist, the c's by a retired ship-captain, the e’s by a tramp that I picked up some time ago, the h’s by a globe-trotter who has done England, the j’s by a professional bunco-man, the k's by a scientific cheese-maker, they g's by the best teamster I could find, S renowned: musiciah,-the I's by an ele- vated-railivay. president, the m’s -by the president of the typographical union, the o's by three shrewd bill-collectors, the q's by a Chinese savant, the t's by one of our leading importers, the v's and x's by a committee of bank-cashiers, the w’s by a green-apple grower, the y's by a few mem- HIS SCHEME. Mr. Rusoer—' What are you doing here, Amos?” Awos—"' Trolling for pickerel "* Mr. Russer—" Trolling for pickerel? You're crazy, man!" Amos—'* Not so's you could notice it. See thet dog swimmin’ .xere? Wa-al, he's got a hook an’ line tied to his tall. Dash is good fer a couple 0’ three-pounders every day.” FOUR LIMERICKS. THERE was a young man with no feet Who offered a lady his seat. He stood on his head Until he was dead— Now, wasn't he awfully sweet? ‘There was a young person of four Who started to sea on a door. The wind it was high And the waves were not dry, And I doubt if he's seen any me ‘There was a small child of Colraine Who yelled with a terrible pain, Said, Wait till Thay ‘There was a young lady of Lee Who was bully at quick repartee. And said, when they axed her About Mr. Baxte “Great gosh ain't nothing to me." MIKE'S GUESS. Pat (just landed and seeing street- surveyors at work) —"I say, Moike, phwat be thim men doin’ ?” Mike—" Oi dunno, Pat; but Oi guess they do be layin’ wires fer th’ wire- less tilegraph.” A BULL MARKET. Finst rassencer—" Oh, heavens! the ship is going down!” Seconp passencer—" Cheer up! Morgan owns this line, and he won't let it drop far."* bers of a college faculty, and have relied on my own judgment as to the rest.” “Your honor,” said the lawyer, " we have no further questions to ask.” WHO WAS RIGHT? HE SAID the poem was divinely wrought, And ‘twould set the world on fire ; But the editor said ‘twas a thoughtless thought * Sent over a wireless wire. THE UP-TO-DATE BOY. 6S\YVILL your employer be in after dinner t* inquired the visitor of the office-boy. “ Nope,” was the laconic reply. “What makes you think so?” was the next query. replied the boy as he prepared to dodge, * that’s what he went out after.” GOOD ADVICE. Jonnson—"' He sald I was an addle-pated jackass. Whatdo you advise me todo about it?" JacKson—" See # good veterinary.” HE THAT would ‘.ave an oyster from the soup must have a long spoon, a stout heart, and the eye of faith, NEWSPAPER NOTE. “Getting a ‘scoop,’ "* comicbooks.com