Judge — February 14, 1903 — page 6: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

WAITING. WOODMAN, spare Its eas do not 3 aA hd = $6 | CAN'T help won- tack! , : ; dering which If coal goes up, by gee! Ae 4 : took the medicine,” "Twill be worth twie ; says our friend, who as much. has been sitting with worried brows for CONFUSION. a number of min- SOTHE nest time 1 F =) utes. trust to my es ee ( 21% . “Which what?" friends to help me out * ; we ask in a puzzled of a tight place I hope 4 5 Beg manner. some one will kick me ‘ good and hard,” said the husband. “What's wrong now ?” asked the sen- sitive friend, bridling “It was this “he explains. ” Yesterday evening I picked up the paper and glanced hurried- 1 ly through it, as I had perceptibly. ; Res: only a few moments “Well, you know \ 3 Pye Z y to spare. On one the other night a lot page I saw by the of us had a little game head-lines that a man and a little time and had jumped off a all that, and I got bridge somewhere; home pretty late?” also that a man had “T remember it been shot; also that distinctly,” said the a boy had been kicked friend smilingly. by a malicious mule ; “And you fel- and furthermore that lows primed me with some woman had a plausible explana- been suffering untold tion of my absence agony for twenty from home ?” 4 if j years, It told all that “Yes.” € in the head-lines ; and “Well, next day then my eyes ran my wife said my ex- across the bottom of planation sounded the page, and there it pretty well, but she said, ‘And now I have wants me to explain to thank Dr, Dosem the explanation, and I for my marvelous, not can't remember what to say miraculous, it was, and neither THE MINIMUM. cure.’ Now, the thing can any of the rest of Tue mistress—'* So you have decided to get married? Don't you think you are taking great that puzzles me is the fellows.” chances, Bridget ? 7 "Tue maio—" Shure, Oi don't think so, mum, Ol belave iv'ry gerrul ought to git married at Which one of them But the sensitive least wanst in her lolfe.” was cured,” friend refused to come After this explanation we offer to bet him three to one that none of to his aid, arguing that any further helps in the way of explanations them was. would only serve to inaugurate an endless-chain system of excuses. IT OFTEN HAPPENS. Gumms—" What is that old saying about a fool and his money 2?” Gobang—" I forget the words, but it means that they are soon married,” MEY! CLEAR JME TRACK. THE LAST STRAW. Mr. Crivas—“' Mrs. C., | have borne with resignation—nay, even cheerful- ness—antique chairs that wobbled, antique clocks that were always thirteen hours out of the way, antique rugs that some prehistoric Turks wore out In Richard III.’s time, antique china that would cause acute indigestion to a camel (if he looked at them), antique beds that gave me rheumatism, antique Chinese lamps that shed THE LATEST. darkness, antique bowls, pots, pans and kettles—all this | have smiled at; but when you give me antique eggs for breakfast | draw the line, madam—I draw “Wow! This beats ice-yachting all holle the line!"* comicbooks.com