Judge — January 24, 1903 — page 10: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

HIS CONGLOMERATIPREDICAMENT. ELL, zish,” said Mr. Rye- fuddle, partially steadying himself by clawing on to the oor-frame and gazing at the wife of his bosom with fishy and focusless eyes, “is the (hic) first time I ever saw a liv(hic)- ing puzzle-picture. Now, which of the two is (hic) which and which is not (hic) which? In ozher words, which of ‘em is (hic) her and which of her ain't one of (hic) ‘em? On the ozher hand, which one of the two zhat I see is the (hic) one I don't see, and which is the (hic) one I see but don't think Ido? I pause for a (hic) reply.” N, b.—He got it. THE WICKED FAIRY. Aunt (ending an exciting story)—" + And when she had said this the bad fairy disap- peared in a cloud of smoke and flame *"—— Niece (eagerly)—"« know, auntie—in an automobile !" A TERRIBLE JOLT. LOCATING THE HOT AIR. Mr. Poeit—"' Genevieve, if the house should ever get on fire while | am away | hope you will re- , member to save my poetry before everything else.”” ++ EJOW do you like that furnace I sold you Mrs. Poerr—"* Yes, | suppose I will. During a fire they say one always does the most foolish things.”” last fall?" asked the dealer. “It would be all right if there was as much hot air about it as sity digtbdliie ee ne eo The there is about you," replied the present owner of the furnace. Mes, Batkficlds— Deas me lmy milk is. sour 3g ey told us if we'd get a refrigerator we'd have no trouble about things keep- ing; so he went and bought a real pretty one, but the milk sours worse than ever.” Mrs. Sittiways —" Do you keep enough ice in it? Mrs. Backfields —"\ce? 1 hope you don’t think, after spend- ing all that money on a refriger- ator, we'd go to the additional ev- pense of buying ice!" AFTER THE PLAY. LITTLE bird, a little fill, A little longing to be still ; A little call against your will, A doctor, then a little pill. NOT SO HIGH UP. Stillwell Attit—\s Penteld AT THE BLACKVILLE CHURCH. a hack writer? Parson Jounson— De congregashun will now jine in singin’ dat beautiful hymn, ‘ ‘Tis wid de righteous well.” ;, Uany Fellesies NG; Membahs dat has deir spare cash Invested in some ‘ ile-well * ain't expected ter gush much while singin’ it."" he's a slow coach, A GOOD REASON. [ 28 skipping down the road, and T think T'Ml soon explode With the glee that gayly spiels from my head unto my heels. All my sorrows trom me flit, dust, vamoose, skedaddle, git, And across the road's expanse see me caper, skip and dance Like a wild man in the joy that has made of me a toy, In the brightest red arrayed, since my taxes all are paid. ENDELSSOHN was hard at work when a friend dropped in. “Why don’t you write that thing in A flat?” he inquired. . “Because,” replied the great composer, “1 am WHY SHE CRIED. afraid of the janitor.” - “Boo-hoo! Willie's gone an’ proposed ter me twin sister, With an involuntary shudder, he hastily finished Tinkin’ she was me.” his concerto in G minor. comicbooks.com