Judge, 1902-12-06 · page 4 of 16
Judge — December 6, 1902 — page 4: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains several unrelated humorous pieces typical of Judge's satirical format: 1. **"His Probable Fate"** mocks an encyclopedia salesman's pitch to a reluctant farmer, satirizing aggressive door-to-door sales tactics common in this era. 2. **"The Artist's Eye"** jokes about New York's unpleasant conditions (smoke, dust) as artistic inspiration. 3. **"Golf as She Is Played"** provides genteel etiquette rules for female golfers, reflecting early 20th-century attitudes about women's sporting participation and propriety. 4. **"Poor Pat"** features a parrot's irreverent commentary on a woman driver, playing on period anxieties about women operating automobiles and the stereotype of women as dangerous drivers. 5. **"The Wonderful Doings of Marvelous Thomas"** appears to be a serial sketch about a character drawing a goose. The page reflects common Judge themes: rural/urban contrasts, technological change, and gender roles.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
JUDGE'S FAVORITES. MAUD MASSEL. An old astronomer, one happy night, ‘Saw you perform and murmured with a sigh, “ Lhave discovered, sparkling more than bright, ‘A new star in the histrionic sky.”* GOLF AS SHE IS PLAYED (According te cracked players. WHEN teeing don't go in for high-balls. One drive on the green is worth four in the bush. Don't let your modesty prevent brassy shots. In taking your ground don't forget to replace the divots. In all plays remember to keep “a little bit of the * top." A man must not play too near a lady—he might bunker. . To get into the pit proves that you have plenty of sand. A player who gets on the green is entitled to acup. When hungry drive to the one-hundred-and- fifty-yard stake. No tea-caddies allowed on the course. An extra pair of shoes is recommended in case you go through. Use the links when hard up for cuff-buttons. According to these rules a player can go around the course in thirty-nine if he is a good lie-er. NO. 19.—THE WONDERFUL DOINGS OF MARVELOUS THOMAS. “Now, my friends, | have drawn here the picture of a goose swimming jn the water, and with a few additional, touches here and there we have— HIS PROBABLE FATE. Se AAL, some ways I'd like to an’ some ways I guess 1 wouldn't,” said honest Farmer Bentover when the suave dispenser of encyclopadias had paused in his siren song. “Ye see, if I was to sign for that ‘ere cyclopedee in forty-seven parts, in- cludin’ the index an’ appendicitis, I'm sorter afraid I'd hev to work so hard to pay fer it thet I'd_be too tired to enjoy readin’ it; while if I read it at my leesure, as I'd ort to, in order to git the good of it, I wouldn't hev time to earn the price. So, all things considered, I guess I'll hev to deny myself the privi- lege, as it were. Looks sorter like rain off to the northwest, don’t it ?" THE ARTIST'S EYE. Friend— Didn't you find New York perfectly horrible 2” Artist—“ No; the smoke and dust effects were positively stunning.” ULTIMATE success depends not so much in not knowing when you are whipped as on an ability to believe that the result of the contest was due to a fluke. POOR PA! IN THE LANGUAGE OF FLOWERS. Tne Rose knew the lily bore a bad reputation, but I never thought they would tle him to the stake. I suppose they will set fire to him next."" Borsy—"' Oh, mamma! just as soon as you go out of the room the parrot swears dreadfully."* Motuer—" What does he say ?" Bossy—" He says, ‘Damn that woman! She's enough to drive a man crazy.’ Motuex—"Um-m! Just wait till your father gets home!” —the old’ goose who waded to his neck in the water all day, hunting It.”” comicbooks.com