Judge, 1902-11-01 · page 6 of 16
Judge — November 1, 1902 — page 6: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains six separate satirical sketches mocking social hypocrisy and absurdity: **"The Old Excuse"**: A drunk husband claims he only drank soda water that was somehow "loaded"—a transparent lie his angry wife doesn't believe. The satire targets men who make feeble excuses for intoxication. **"High Finance"**: A sultan amuses himself that an American financier wants to "syndicate" his debts—implying the financier thinks he can profit from the sultan's financial troubles as much as the sultan has. It mocks American financial schemes and orientalist stereotypes. **"An Indulgent Husband"**: Shows a henpecked husband in domestic turmoil, illustrating marital discord. **"Standing Up for His Rights"**: A weevil and larva dispute territorial claims in a cheese-rind—absurdist humor using insects to mock petty arguments. **"To Get Out of It Cheap"**: Mrs. Newcomb avoids donating money to her minister's salary shortfall by instead buying groceries, claiming proceeds will be "turned in"—transparent self-serving charity. **"Only Natural"**: Two typists note that poor grammar and spelling naturally follow from poor taste and appearance—circular logic satirizing workplace judgments.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
THE OLD EXCUSE. ERE you are,” said the angry wiie to her unsteady husband, “in a sad condition, You are half-shot. And yet you think am going to believe your yarn that you have been drinking nothing but soda- water ?” “1 ‘cknowledge, m’ dear,” quavered the hus- band, watching the furniture looping the loop and chuting the chutes; “I ‘cknowledge zhat I'm half- shot, but I inshist I on'y drank shoda-wasser—zhat's all, But I didn’ know it wash loaded—zhat's how it happensh.” bihint | HIGH FINANCE. 66] T'S right funny,” chuckled the sultan. “ What is funny, oh, son of the moon and papa IITTINTINITA of the sun?” asked the grand vizier, lighting the royal hookah with the grocer’s bill. ou “This American financier wants to syndicate rt . LOOT my debts. “ Bismillah !” exclaimed the grand vizier. “* Does the infidel think he can make as much money out of them as you have ?° AN INDULGENT HUSBAND. STANDING UP FOR HIS RIGHTS. 44 GET out of here!” growled the larvae in the cheese-rind as the weevil sought to make.an entrance. “ But why ?* protested the weevil.“ There is plenty of room for both.” * Where's your skipper’s license 2” asked the larve: haughtily. TO GET OUT OF IT CHEAP. | Mrs. Newcomb (on bei deficit in the minister's salai sked to contribute a dollar to help make up the “ Really, I can't afford to give so much money ; i ae MANGUAGE OoiotOw ens. but I'll buy two chickens, a pound of coffee, a can of condensed milk, a bottle of Warer-uy—""No, thank you, mister: | never drink anything olives, some cottage cheese, a spare-rib, and some cut flowers for the church- stronger than water.” | . supper, the proceeds of which, you know, are to be turned in.” ONLY NATURAL. First rrrewnrren—'* Edith dresses in such wretched taste and is so careless about her halr!"* ‘Szoonp trrewrier—"" Yes; it's no wonder her employer complains about her poor grammar and spelling.’’. comicbooks.com