Judge — November 1, 1902 — page 10: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

UNCLE EPH’S OPINION. DAT Istly shanghai rooster is jes'a scrawny ting, Up dar on dat ar tree-top, his head beneaf his wing. But dough he’s rough an’ ragged an’ tousled, don't yer know, Tl hab him in mah gripsack befo' de moon kin go Behin’ dat cloud, an’ shorly I'l bet yer while he cooks Dat he will taste much better—much better dan he looks. FORCE OF HABIT. RS. SHOPPIN had been pulling and hauling over the dress- goods counters all morning, quizzing the clerks as to color, texture and durability. Suddenly she bethought herself of a special sale in the toilet- article department and hastened there. “Some soap,” she said to the saleslady. Carefully examining the dainty box and its contents, she asked, “ Are you sure this will wash?” HER INFERENCE. $6 GOOD gracious!” ruefully ejaculated the lady ghost as the brave people who had come for the purpose of subsequently boasting that they had remained all night in the haunted manse skedaddled at the sight of her like forty dogs after a cat, “I must look like"—she would have given almost anything for a glance in the looking-glass, but unfortunately there wasn't‘a ghost of a mirror on the place—*a fright.” a ER - A “GREEN HORN.” CEZZZz NOT SATISFACTORY. 66] T IS useless for you to remon- strate,” said the editor of Society Happenings to the new reporter ; “you will have no fur- ther connection with this paper. Your article on Mrs. Showley’s new automobile was the most tactless piece of writing I have ever seen.” “But Iam sure I gave a per- fect description of the machine.” “Very likely you did, man; but you didn't say a word about Mrs. Showley.” A COLOMBIAN BELLE, First Colombian native—'| believe Mr. Sidearms is to marry one of the society belles of the Colombian territory.” Second Colombian. native— wegen We 2 Sith HEATING. » “Yes; she is a daughter of fifteen Lapr—"Poor fellow! Here is a penny. Don't you feel cold?” : te Beocar—* Not a bit, mum. Sech a extremely generous gift as dat makes me very warm.” Sr twenty of the revolutions, AN ARTFUL QUEST. 66 AND what,” we ask of the stranger with the waxed mustache and the prominent dia- monds, “what is your line of busi- ness?” “Me,” he says; “me? Oh, I follow art.” “ You paint ?” “You deal in pictures and sculptures 2” “ Not exactly. You see, I am ‘one of these men who always keep their eyes open for original Reubens.” LINGUA ARBORIS. THE wisdom of the maple-tree Is always kept on tap; For when you ask a question he Will answer, « Verbum sap.” FELIX CARMEN. ——— Fre > 1, seWHAT makes you think he | 8 rete Ar arb page i cay sae oT oa nal bilist’s delight. I'l Ie i} “ is i Wits auto)—'* Me |, sir. I'm only ori automot t's ey it | | ep He never drinks any soft youso run inter me ac full epecd fortwo conts fer every 100i youse knock me’ ten ner cent off fer yt Ing over abun | : A dred feet, an’ five dollars fer landin’ me in a tree or gittin’ run over. Anyt'ing doin’ ter-day, boss ?” comicbooks.com