Judge, 1902-09-06 · page 7 of 16
Judge — September 6, 1902 — page 7: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains several satirical sketches mocking American society and politics circa early 1900s. **"Providing the Howls"**: Satirizes imperialist military occupation—likely referencing the Philippines or another colonial acquisition. The conqueror claims to have created a "howling wilderness," but the joke is that importing 200 music teachers will make inhabitants flee rather than appreciate "civilization." **"At the Launching"**: Appears to mock Theodore Roosevelt's family, with "Miss Roosevelt" referenced as someone important enough that breaking a bottle on her would substitute for the traditional christening ceremony—satirizing their public prominence. **"A Legal Technicality" and "Little Kathrine's Dream"**: Dialect humor featuring African American characters in rural/domestic situations—typical of the era's racist comedy conventions. **"Not Much Difference"**: Mocks furniture salesmen's sophistry, suggesting minor stylistic differences between Louis XIV and XVI furniture represent merely "two years' difference." Overall, the page blends political satire with period-typical racial caricature and class-based humor targeting pretension and commercialism.
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Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
PROVIDING THE HOWLS. IE HAVE made a howl ing wilderness of this country,” says the com- mander of the conquer- ing army. “Indeed 2" asks the visitor curiously.“ But I do not hear any howls.” “Wait about a week,” advises thé-con- queror. “We have in- cluded two hundred music-teachers in our equipment for the civil- izing and mental and moral uplifting of the surviving inhabitants.”” But the visitor, instead of waiting the prescribed time, immediately makes in- quiries as to how soon he can get a boat that will take him away. AT THE LAUNCHING. Micxey—" Yes, Willie: it 1s always customary in launchin’ a new boat ter break a bottle over de bow. As Miss Roosvilt ain't here, I'll do yer de favor. Come on, feller!" A LEGAL TECHNICALITY. LE EPHRAIM was about to be tried for walkin’ disorderly befo’ de chu’ch,” and fearing high-handed procedure on the part of the board of deacons, he pleaded, “ Bredderen an’ sisteren, it ‘pear ter me laik We ought ter be reg'lar ‘bout dese prognostica- tions, so no scandilizement kin cum on our be- lubbed boa'd ob deekins. It’s ‘bleeged ter be mo’ laik white folks ter’ pint a reg’lar quorum ter set on dis yere case.” The deacons, however, sternly refused to shirk their responsibility, and Uncle Eph was duly found guilty of stealing the pastor's hog. NOT MUCH DIFFERENCE. Lady (to furniture clerk)—" I like the Louis XIV. and the Louis XVI. designs equally well. It wouldn't do, | suppose, to have both chairs in the parlor ?” AFRAID. ~ Fie aod Corns) SA ln ‘abd habe'a aware Bay Clerk— Oh, yes, madam ; they would har- ‘Tue souinre.—" Not on your tintype! I ain't goin’ to git freckled, like you." monize well—only two years’ difference, you see.’ LITTLE KATHRINE’S DREAM. Froo warrer. (of Toad cafe)—"' I'm awful sorry, miss, but there isn't a thing to eat in the house. ‘The boss ha: gone fishing with all the worms.”” comicbooks.com