Judge, 1902-09-06 · page 6 of 16
Judge — September 6, 1902 — page 6: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This Judge page satirizes romantic pretense through multiple comedic pieces. The main poem mocks insincere suitors who claim passionate devotion while revealing mercenary motives—the speaker professes undying love but admits dependence on the bride's father's money ("your father 'ponies' up") and dreams of comfortable living rather than genuine romance. The contradiction between flowery declarations and crass self-interest is the joke. Supporting cartoons extend this theme: "Heart and Heart" depicts a woman repeatedly divorced despite claiming deep affection, suggesting women's romantic feelings are performative; "An Opening" jokes about a wealthy amateur actor willing to take minor roles, implying money matters more than talent. The slang dialogue snippets ("Esquimaux eat soap") appear filler content typical of Judge's format. Overall, the page satirizes shallow, transactional approaches to love and marriage among the wealthy leisure class of the era.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
‘THE CAUTIOUS LOVER. ARLING, at last I am alone, and now take up my pen To tell thee that indeed I am the happiest of men. Thou art my first, my only love—I ne'er have loved before (Excepting Sue and Mayme and Liz and half a dozen more). Oh, wondrous is this thing called love that now fills all my life Ah, blessed day that soon will dawn when I shall call thee wi Ah, then with joy full, full will be and brimming o'er my cup (My bliss depending on the way your father “ponies” up). So filled am I with thoughts of thee, my heart and breast aflame, That ev'ry wand’ring zephyr scems to murmur o'er thy nam With thee and thoughts of thee I live, and hunger floes away— For love is all the food I crave (and three good “squares” per day), T pace my chamber through the night and gazé up at the stars, And then my soul leaps forth in flight and breaks down all its bars, And with thee, sweet, in other worlds a lover's tryst I keep (Which proves a man can dream a lot when he is fast asleep). ‘Thou art my life, and shouldst thou ask of me some proof of love, To fight with dragons in the deeps or storm the heights above, Forth then thy champion I would go; my love is so intense, That for thy sake I'd gladly die (about ten centuries hence). CHARLES NOEL DOUGLAS, HOW HE REGARDED IT. Languid Leary— Dey tell me dat Esquimaux eat soap an’ t'ink it’s a luxury.” Perambulating Pete— Well, dat's wot it is. It certainly ain't no necessity.” ned Mevteorory acs (> ey HEART AND HEART. Oh, yes; she had met this young man. SOMETIMES > CASE, S6QHE is of an ex- tremely affection- ate disposition, and yet she has been divorced three times.” “Him! Love, with her, seems to be inter- mittent.” AN OPENING. Stage-director— “What shall I do with the wealthy young ama- teur you engaged this morning ?" Manager —“ What SoS can he do?” Stage-director— “ He says he is willing to : play the smallest parts.” HIS STATE. IN THE GOOD OLD SUMMER-TIME. AER E nae Cast arc ere) coe UE Fivo (disturbed in his shumbers}——" These may be dog-days, but 1 him for the armor in the ache Sa ae coy cal state notice the nights belong to the cats.” : baronial-castle scene.” foes ins Seba ge ves in Boe comicbooks.com