Judge, 1902-09-06 · page 10 of 16
Judge — September 6, 1902 — page 10: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page from the American satirical magazine *Judge* contains multiple humorous sketches and jokes typical of early 20th-century humor: **"The Only Way"** mocks hunters who complain about difficulties hunting game, then go buy pre-killed birds at market anyway—satirizing pretense and contradiction. **"Very Likely"** jokes that a baby resembles her father now, but will resemble her mother (as a "phonograph"—a recording device) once she develops her mother's tendency to repeat herself constantly. **"Well Up in Sailing-Craft"** ridicules someone who bought a sailboat but only secured it through life insurance and church membership—suggesting he's unprepared and possibly expecting disaster. **"City and Country"** contrasts urban and rural lifestyles through quick comparisons, portraying city dwellers as leisured and restless, farmers as hardworking and content. **"The Astute Salesman"** illustrates how customers respond better to flattery than honesty—when told silk "looks like calico," they buy it; when told calico "looks like silk," they reject it. **"No Hurry"** presents a lazy worker willing to wait weeks for unripe apples to ripen rather than find other work.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
THE ONLY WAY. HERE'S not a bird Tn bush or tree. Whoever heard, Ah, me! ah, me! Of such a thing To make the sport His troubles sing nd then cavort Until his feet With blisters glow And he must beat His breast in woe? The dog is blue, With disappoint- Ment running through Each nerve and joint ; The which I take To mean that I, ; To broil or bake w Or stew or fry A bird, must whizz And whirl apace Unto the t ‘Zy marketplace And_ buy the dun pry yellow-leg hang the gun Upon the peg. VERY LIKELY. Mrs, Slumkin—“ The Werdey baby is the picture of her father.” Mr, Slumkin—* 1 suppose that when the child is a little older she will be the phonograph of her mother.” Yt” WELL UP IN SAILING-CRAFT. Haroto—" Jerrold has bought a sail-boat.” ‘ Auice—"' But does he know anything about a sail boat? Haroto—"" Oh, yes. He has got his life insured and joined the church.”* | CITY AND COUNTRY. City—Passenger cusses car ahead. Country —Farmer wishes he was dead. City—Man in drug-store drinking fizz. Country —Farmer works the well for his. City—Cooled off by the electric fan. hat, bare head, barefoot, tan. in auto for a whirl. Country—Wagon good enough for girl. City plunge for a cooling goal. Country —Flounders in a swimmin’-hole. City—Often wonders what to wea Country —Doesn't very City—Polo, tennis, golf, and ball. Country—Dance in winter, nut City—Everybody has a day, —'Cept "bout crops, nothin’ to say. often care fall. { AT THE MOTH BALL. Miss Rose—" Dear me! that horrid candle seems to be having all the attention this evening. THE ASTUTE SALESMAN. AN ASTUTE salesman was enjoined by his employer to be strictly honest—but to sell goods. Next day the salesman dis- played some new fabrics, say- ing to the lady-shoppers, “ Here is some calico that looks just like silk.” But they turned up their noses scornfully. The following day he said to the same shoppers, “ Here is some silk that is made to look like calico.” And they bought every yard of it This shows us that we should use due judgment as to which end of a truth is first presented. Growler— Here, waiter! this egg isn’t half cooked.” Gruff Slinger (the waiter) —"Well, you didn't want it half cooked, did you?" NO HURRY. Lazy Lem—"' Lady, could yer give me a job pickin’ apples ?"” Mrs. Greenrees— Why, the apples hain't ripe fer two weeks yet!” zy Lem—" Well, lady, i'm willin’ ter stop here till dey is ripe.” comicbooks.com