Judge, 1902-07-19 · page 6 of 16
Judge — July 19, 1902 — page 6: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains several brief humorous anecdotes typical of early-20th-century American satire: **"A Daring Innovation"** mocks overwrought literary clichés—specifically the purple prose of adventure novels, which invariably described storms with identical melodramatic language. The author proposes writing a marine story *without* such predictable descriptions. **"Sounds Like It"** jokes about Mrs. Bronxborough's ignorance: she mistakes "ping-pong" (the parlor game) for a foreign place, suggesting she's out of touch or intellectually shallow. **"How Would You Like to Be a Commuter?"** satirizes railroad inefficiency—a commuter oversleeps because a brakeman announced the station name so unclearly he didn't recognize it. **"An Utter Impossibility"** presents a tall tale about a gorilla; the showman's point is that circus managers are so morally invulnerable that even death can't "kill" them—a dig at their supposed corruption. **"It Was Hot"** uses hyperbole: the farmer's proof Nebraska heat is extreme is that they had to ice ponds to prevent boiled eggs. The cartoons target American social pretension, bureaucratic incompetence, and rural stereotypes.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
A DARING INNOVATION. SOME of these days Iam go- ing to write a marine story that will be -absolutely and startlingly unique. Oh, yes; it will have the ocean in it, and the waves and the sky, and a ship or two, But you may search the book from cover to cover and not find a paragraph like this: “Then, with a rush and a roar and a crashing sound that seemed to rend the good old ship from stem to stern and stretched every strand of rope taut, while the sails snapped away from the shrouds, the hurricane was upon us. This story is to be a com- panion to my historical novel that will not have a chapter descriptive of a breakfast at the old inn. SOUNDS LIKE IT. Mrs. Richmond— \ hear that Mr. Westchester has dis- tinguished himself at ping- pong. Mrs. Bronxborough— “ Ping-pong? Let me see. Is that in the Philippines of in China ?* HOW WOULD YOU LIKE ‘TO BE A COMMUTER? First commuter—* So you rode past your station last night? Been drinking 2" cond commuter (weari- CRUSHING THE “ED.” ly)—"No; there was a new Poet—** That fool editor said | would never write well until Tipe chee Eine ct one anaes ies” name of the station so distinet- Poer—" Our wedding-certificate."* ly that { didn’t recognize it.” brakeman who called out the AN UTTER IMPOSSIBILITY. 46]T WAS like this,” said the old showman. «“ The educated gorilla stole a box of pills out of his trainer's pocket an’ ett ‘em all at one dose, an’ they killed him. We called in the manager, told him the gorilla was dead, an’ skinned him “Skinned the manager ?* “Naw! If you don't krow that no- body on earth can skin a circus-manager you ain't got sense enough to enjoy this I'm goin’.” IT WAS HOT. Visitor (to Ne- braska_farmer)—« It has been pretty hot out here this summer, : has it not 2" _ FEO =H Farmer— Hot? W/ Well, rather. Why, — we even had to put A NEW SPECIALTY. ice in the pond to Brown (in background) —" That fellow over there in the high hat made keep the ducks from ALWAYS A SUPERFLUITY. a great hit ten years ago playing ‘Ten Nights in a Bar-room.’"” i y ry “boi Willful waste makes woeful want.”* Surm—"'What's he doing now?" laying hard-boiled Nes—'* Nonsense! Lots of women waste thelr Brown—"Ten bar-rooms in a night. eggs breath talking, but never seem in want for more.” comicbooks.com