Judge — July 19, 1902 — page 14: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

“Especially the BUFFALO LITHIA Virginia” For Albuminuria and Bright’s Disease Sarnuel O. L. Potter, A.M.,M.D., M.R.C.P., London, Professor of the Principles and Practice of Medicine and Ciinical Medicine in the College of Physicians and Surgconse/ San Francisco, Cal, nha Handbook of Materia Medica, Pharmacy and Therapeutics,”” in the citation of reme- 4 dies, under the bead of Albuminuria,’ says; | DUEFALO LITHIA WATER of Virginia, is highly recommended. : Under head of “Chronic Bright's Disease," in the citation of remedies, he ‘says: ‘‘Mineral waters, BUEFALO LITHIA WATER of Virginia which has PECIALLY the many advocates." Dr. Willlam H. Drummond, Profestor of Medical Jurisprudence, Bishop's University, Montreal Canada: "ia the Acute and Chronic Nephitis (Brighi's Dis case) of Gouty an us to actasa ITA- matic Origin: 1 havefound BUEFALO LITHIA WATER BLE ANTIDOTE.” Medical testimony of the highest order attesting the value of this water in Gout, Rheumatism, Stone in the Bladder and Kidneys and in all Uric Acid troubles mailed to any address. BUEFALO LITHIA WATER ‘fo: sale by Grocers and Druggista generally. Hotel at Springs open from June 15th to October Ist. PROPRIETOR BUFFALO LITHIA SPRINCS, VIRGINIA. “What makes the baby cry?" asked the little visitar. “Oh,” explained Ethel, “our baby doesn't have to have anything to make it cry." —Chicago Post. “Isn't he doing well at college?” “No; he undertook to study Greek and | shorthand in the same term and he can’t I the shorthand characters from the Greek.""—Philadelphia Press. Mrs. Gamp— man in the he a friend of you: Margaret—" No, indeed, mem; it, was only me husband.""—Boston Transcript. | largaret, you had a ening. was “Will you share d the suitor. Yes, if there’s a cottage on it,” answered the crafty maid.—Philadelphia Record. my humble lot?” itchen last e On Lake Canadarago, 1.500 feet above’ sea level, combining the charms of lake, mountain and spa; white sulphur springs; golf; boating: splendid roads for bicycling and automobiling; dally Parlor and sleeping car service from New York via Lackawanna ‘**Mountain and Lake Resorts,” a beautifully illustrated book, will complete information. This book also contains a series of delighttul aah oak entitled the ‘* Expertences of Pa." Sent on request, accompanied by 5 cents in postage MR. TELLIT ON THE ISTHMIAN CANAL. |MR- TELLIT sat at the breakfast table, with his usual early moming expression of touch-me-and- take - your - life - in - your-hands. He held his oatmeal spoon in the fingers of his left hand, while with those of his right he endeavored to brace the morning paper against the sugar bowl so that he might feed his brain as well as the rest of his internal machinery. Mrs. Tellit sat at her side of the table, with her hand on the coffee urn, just as the lady in the health-food advertisements is pictured, and smiled. serenely. She was anticipating her husband's delight over some waffles that were yet to come. Mr. Teilit dropped his spoon with a clatter and growled, “Of course they will. Of course they will. I knew that was the game right along.” “What is that, dear?" asked Mrs. Tellit. ‘‘Is the landlord going to sod the yard?” “No, madam,” responded Mr. Tel- ~ |lit, with all the sarcasm possible to a man who has the before-breakfast grouch in its chronic form. “No, ma'am, and he isn’t going to roof |the porch or put in a new furnace, either. You know they are filling the paper with news about our land- lord and the other Bulgarian bandits at present: I came by his house last night,” he continued, ‘and the editor of the paper and ten reporters were lined up at the door calling to him, and demanding further in- formation as to what he was going to do to Tellit’s house; and I think they are going to have a crew of sketch artists at his place of business to-day, getting up a series of page illustrations showing ‘Tellit’s Land- lord Reducing the Rent,’ ‘Tellit’s Landlord Ordering Stained Glass for the Windows,’ ‘Tellit’s Landlord Se- lecting New Wall-paper,’ and many other interesting and excitin; “Oh, I beg your pardon, mured Mrs. Tellit. ‘What did you mean, then? “Well, I meant that the canal commission is figuring around to buy the Panama canal instead of the Nicaragua canal, as was first planned.” “How would you expect me to know you were talking about a canal?” “T didn't. I didn’t expect you to know anything about what I was saying until I had said it. Do you think I am the great Ainerican human guessing contest? Think you can Tommy—" Me sister ‘ll be down in a couple o' minutes. de Trop—‘That's good news, n't at home the last time I Tommy (siesling) “ And she wouldn't be this time on'y I told her you was that Jenks feller that she’s so stuck on."— Philadelphia Press. It was thundering very loud one day when little Charley Horner, aged four years, said: “Mamma, God must be scrubbing to-day.” “What rakes you think so, Charley?”” asked his mother. stamps, to T. W. Lee, General Passenger Agent, New York City. said Charley, “don't you hear Him moving the tables around?"'—Litile Chronicle, send on ten cents for a sample copy of me and run a chance to get a muslin doily and a check for eighty cents, or a crayon portrait with a tin frame?" “No, indeed, my dear. are not a guessing contest. You are more like a prize-fight this morning. But what is all this about the canals, anyway?" “Well, they went down there and looked over the route for the Nicaraguan canal, and” “But 1 thought you said they were talking of buying the canal?” “They wei “How could they buy it if it wasn't there?” Mr. Tellit glared at the wife of his bosom for a moment, and then remarked slowly and smoothly, “How do you buy a dress be- fore it is made?" “Why, I “Of course you do, That's the way they are buying the canal. They're going to cut it to fit the isthmus. Do you see? If they take the Nicaragua route they will have to let out the back breadths and run a ruffle across the waist, but if they use the Panama pattern they can cut it on the bias and save the rem- nants for making it over next scason, when it will be out of style. Do you understand me now? And the Pana- ma canal will be shorter than the other—sort of a rainy-day canal. Is it all plain now?” “Yes, but if they must have a canal, I don’t see why they want to go away down there and”’ “Sure! You're right! I'm ing to send you to Congress. All you need is a stained oak holder and a subscription rate of a dollar a month for ten years to be an encyclo- pedia of political economy. If I get your idea straight, they ought to dig the canal up here at home, where they can get to it any time they feel like using it. I’m going to the office right now and telegraph to Washington about your plan.” And Mr. Tellit left the table and the house, while Mrs. Tellit picked up the paper and said to herself, “I don't see why he needs to be so touchy about the old canal. I think I will read up about it, so that I can talk to him some more on the subject to-night.” But a “remnant sale" notice caught her eye, and she Iet her coffee grow cold. You go- wb. Neserr, “Well,” remarked the rat, as. it crawled out of the box of ping-pong balls, v what sort of a hen laid y one of ‘em was empty!""—Cincinnati Commercial Trib- une. “Gambler? Well, rather! Why, he's so crazy over games of chance that he patronizes a restaurant where they print the bill-of-fare in French, and he doesn’t know a word of the language.""— Chicago Post. Diggs—"I tell you, si thing to be a poor man.” Biggs—" How do you figure it out?” Diges—" Why, my inability to buy an automobile is alone a clear saving of at least one thousand dollars.” —Chicago Vews., it's a great comicbooks.com