Judge, 1902-06-07 · page 6 of 18
Judge — June 7, 1902 — page 6: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains several unrelated humor pieces typical of Judge's satirical format: **"The Actor's Death"**: A darkly comic story mocking theatrical melodrama. An overly dramatic actor named Barnestorme dies in an Alpine avalanche after refusing to flee, instead shouting stage directions ("Up stage!") as if performing. The joke satirizes actors' self-absorbed theatricality—even facing death, he treats reality as a performance, complaining about a missing "spotlight." **"Judge's Favorites"** and **"Talking Shop"**: Brief humorous verses and quips on unrelated topics. **"An Invalid"** and **"Hard Luck"**: Short comic dialogues. **"Peculiarities of Our Neighbors"**: Cartoon mocking neighbor Hobbs's misplaced priorities—he's obsessively frugal about clothing yet lavishly spends on fishing expeditions, satirizing inconsistent economic values. The page reflects Judge's characteristic blend of theatrical satire, social observation, and light domestic humor aimed at early 20th-century American readers.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
THE ACTOR'S DEATH. Geneva, Switzerland, April 10th. NEWS has just been received here of the tragic death of Mr. Hammefatte Barnestorme, the eminent actor, who with a party of friends was touring the Alps. Last Tuesday morning, while they were following a narrow trail, the guide heard an ominous rumbling above them. Shouting “Tre landslide! the landslide!" he urged the party to seek shelter. This they all did except Mr. Barnestorme, who conducted himself in a most strange manner. Crying, “Up stage! up stage!" in a hoarse whis- he endeavored to drag one of the ladies with him to the very path of the ava- lanche. Luckily, she broke away from the demented man just in time. A few seconds before the avalanche struck him he was heard OoKeD LIKE +e to call, “What's the matter with that green Gyice Heavens? this mast be the ! he papa spotlight?" Mr. Barnestorme was resting from of all the worms. | hope he won't no- his season's work in The Hero of the Mountains.” tice what's in my basket." Photo by Schloss, JUDGE'S FAVORITES. MARIE DERICKSON. Why does man caper, gold in hand, As lively as a cricket, And on the long line patient stand To buy the magic ticket? ‘Why ts it that his pocket-bock So frequently uncloses To yield the gold by hook or crook To buy you lots of roses? It is because he, joy aglow, Of just one thing ts certain— You are the life of all the show From curtain unto curtain, TALKING SHOP. fine weather we are having,” said the cheery citizen to a chance acquaintance. “Excuse me, but [never talk shop,” he re- plied. “Eh? How's that?" “I'm a government forecaster.” AN INVALID. The Gladstone bag—“ You look pretty well for one who has been all over Europ The dress-suit case—" Yes; Tm troubled slightly with labelosis, that's all. But you—why, you're worn out!" The Gladstone bag—* Ves; I've just returned HARD LUCK—SCRATCH GRAVEL. from Brooklyn,” Younc Mr. Scrarcuarouno—" Serves me right for marrying a widow with thirteen children! PECULIARITIES OF OUR NEIGHBORS. This is neighbor Hobbs, who prides himself on his economy. He ‘wears the year round a suitof eloines so cheap tharitcestaie, Yet every year Hobbs thinks nothing of spending twenty dollars for up-to-date fshing-tackle, to the high-water limit the fist me he goes out In'a for, besides hiring an expert fisherman at four dollars a day to row him around. comicbooks.com