Judge — May 24, 1902 — page 10: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

spectator will be sup- plied with one of the new Fortypaw tele- scopic microscopes, magnifying three mil- lion diameters, By means of these won- derful instruments the minute microcosms will be rendered dis- tinctly visible.” “Signor Dare- devil, the master of the Monads, will con- vert himself into a cage for a colony of cholera microbes, which, by means of Miss Heocenos (sentimentally)}—'* Every rése has a thorn. Fortypaw’s omnipen- I guess that's why I've got quills.”” etrative X-ray ap- wi SHOCKING LANGUAGE: . paratus, will become apparent in his stomach; held under control solely by inte Ear or Corn—'* Hi, Jimmie! can yer come over t' my house : faa an’ play?" Signor Daredevil's psychological intensity. Jimmie Ear or Corn—"'I don't know. Go ask me fodder.” «Gladiatorial combat between the world-renowned mosquito, Yellowfever Transifer and Signor Theophilus Thickskin, armed with no other weapon than a bottle of kerosene.’ “ Observe that all lemonade sold in this circus is sterilized, all programmes are fumigated, and each patron receives a hypodermic injection of Fortypaw’s universal immunizing serum.” That was all I could de- cipher, save that, expecting the price of admission to be micro- scopic like the rest of the show, {was amazed to see that it was. two dollars, children double ; but my astonishment disap- peared when I remembered how expensive bacteria are, even in the year 1902. osm wens, THE CIRCUS IN 1950. ] PICKED up the other day, in the office of Professor Prognos- tics, the hand-bill of a circus that will show in Manhattan on SOLD AGAIN. New Yorker (to visiting Englishman) —"So the man THE STAGES OF A KISS. who advertises to tell you for Engaged. Honeymoon. Keeping a flat. a dollar the best way to make the least money go the farthest has an- @ swered your letter, ch? What does he say?” The Englishman (mystified)—" He says, *Buy a penny postal-card and write on it to some one in the Philippines." Now how should the—aw —blooming people in the Philippines know more about such fi- nancial matters than anybody else 2” July 4th, 1950. The bill was very small, and the type was al- together too fine to read. Indeed, the pro- fessor told me that a microscope came with it, and it was only by * the aid of that instru- ment that I could copy the following random extracts : “ Fortypaw’s En- cyclopedic Microbie Menagerie and Bacil- lar Biograph! A stu- pendous aggregation of beautiful and bane- ful bacteria! Eight bacillidromes under one sheet of glass! First exhibition in Manhattan of the golf germ, hootmon_ bras- syensis! Novel demonstration of the swellhead mi- crobe, biggi ego- tisticus! — Beau- tiful ballet by the Farmer Moss- backer —“Colonel Chinnaway, the politi- cian, declares that he is in the hands of his friends.” Farmer Horn- beak— Yes, | know he does ; but it sorter looks to me that the true state of affairs is banner bacteria, blue- VERY, VERY DIFFERENT. that his friends have stockinga Bostonia ! ‘Swe—" But how do | know you love me?” he’ ‘coloaiel ans Ec ct * Why, I can’t sleep nights, thinking of you.” Bot Ue Soonel on Nhe Saeh Sur—"" That proves nothing. Pa can't sleep nights thinking of you, but I hardly think It Is love.” their hands, comicbooks.com