Judge, 1902-04-26 · page 10 of 16
Judge — April 26, 1902 — page 10: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains several humorous pieces satirizing early 20th-century American life: **"The Turn of the Worm"** is a poem praising worms for their backbone—they "turn" when cornered, unlike humans who "run to beat the band" when facing conflict. It's social commentary on cowardice. **"The Crafty Burglar"** depicts a clever thief who rings the household's wake-up bell, causing residents to assume it's morning and return to sleep, allowing him to rob undisturbed. It's a joke about outsmarting people through psychology. **The multi-panel comic "When They Moved"** shows two apparently vagrant professors repeatedly evicted—by janitor, landlord, and police—with the final panel showing one saying "I t'ink it's my move," suggesting they're playing checkers through it all. It satirizes homeless individuals or bohemian academics. **"Real Aggravating," "His Plaint," "Extravagant,"** and **"Works Both Ways"** are brief joke exchanges mocking human nature—scandal-mongering, complaining about missed opportunities, extravagance, and religious hypocrisy respectively. The page represents Judge's typical early-1900s satirical blend of social observation and wordplay humor.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
‘THE TURN OF THE ‘WORM. OF ALL the things upon this earth A worm I'd rather be; For worms will turn when they are chased, And that’s the way for me. A mule can kick, a cat can scratch, A yellow dog can bite ; But when a worm is cornered it Turns back with all its might. The «skeeter" sings and scoots away, The fly lights and is gone ; Hut e'en the worm, when pestered. much, Turns back when it is + When it is up to man to fight He runs to beat the band ; The worm will turn and finish up ‘The job it has on hand. THE CRAFTY BURGLAR. HE cold gray of the dawn is stealing through the win- dows. The burglar is stealing in- side the house. His foot strikes a chair. Crash! From the up-stairs rooms come sounds of people moving about and conversing in sleepy tones. Acting with the quickness of one who has a trained mind and understands human na- ture, the burglar seizes the call- bell on the table and rings the rising summons for the family. In a moment the sounds of snores fill the house. Ah, the rising-bell is. het: ter than the knockout drop REAL AGGRAVATING. Jack—"' Wasn't that a mean scandal about Ethel? There wasn't a word of truth in it."” Eprrn—"* Wasn't that me: HIS PLAINT. MOL IFE.” we gravely say to the sorrowing friend; “life, we should remember, is full of grievous disappoint- ments; and though, as you say, you feel that you have made mistakes, you should not re- pine, for no doubt, in making the one mistake, you have es- caped another equally as great, if not more so. We could talk thus for sev- eral hours ahout the mistakes of others, but he interrupts : “Tt may all be just as you say,” he observes; “but once Thad a chance to buy a gold- brick, and instead used the money to get married on.” Weeping because he woula never know the thrilling sensa- tion of being gold-bricked, we pass hurriedly on. EXTRAVAGANT. Bank-president—" Do you find any evidence that our cashier is living beyond his means?” Detective— Yes, 1 do. 1 find that he has had the plumb- ing in his house repaired twice within the last three months.” WORKS BOTH WAYS. Welles —" Did Christian science cure you of rheuma- tism 2” Syckley—" Nox but rheu- matism cured me of Christian 1, Professors Spitzmuller and Stelnowitzkyheimer have not made a move for many moons. 2. Tue sanrtor—* Hey, you fellers! You'll have to move. I want to clean out this place—it hasn't been cleaned for ages." 3, Tue tanoLoro—'' See here, you chaps! TI Is the first of May and you'll have to move. You haven't paid any rent for three months. eS 4. THE LANDLORD —"' Just dump ‘em out on the sidewalk and come back for the rest of thelr junk." 5. Spirzmutter—** | t'ink it's my move.” WHEN THEY MOVED. 6. Tue cop—"*Here, you, move on! Phwat do yez mane by blocking up the sidewalk 2" comicbooks.com discu woo prop i