Judge — January 18, 1902 — page 14: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

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It is also that way with some poo ple." —Philadelphia Record. 66 AN’ whot do yer think?” inquired Mr. Hinnigan, as he entered the | Flinnigan cuisine, dumped the cat out of |a chair, drew it up, and gazed at his host. Flinnigan caressed the auburn stubble on his chin, removed one foot from the oven, yawned, and replied, “Sure, Oi wor thinkin’ th’ Dootch bootcher beyant th’ carner have j'ined th’ bafe thrust. rageous.” “ Whin Oi axed yez what yez tho't said Hinnigan, “Oi didn't mane what wor yez thinkin’ yersilf. Oi mint whot did yez think av whot Oi wor thinkin’ whin Oj axed yez whot yez tho't. Oi ixpicted, whin Oi put me quistion, thot yez wud raply, * Whot ?"" “ So, so ?” retorted Flinnigan. Oi'm not a shtar at mind-radin’ yut, but if ut Th’ price av mate are out- |" plaze yez, Oi'll begin practicin’ imma. jetty.” | Mr. Hinnigan’s equanimity was equal to that of the Sphinx, The ironical re- ply was ignored, and he continued, “On a-Chuesda’, jist afther th’ day wor breakin’, chance t'rew me into Wall | Sthrate.” “Whin th’ day broke yez wor trun into Wall Sthrate ; ‘tis a wondher yez |kem out a¥ th’ accidint aloive,” observed the host. * As Oi wor sayin’,” added Hinnigan, “Oi had th’ ixthrordinry privlige av mat- in’ an’ con-versin’ wid th’ monarch av finnyancers—th’ great and only J. Peer- |pont. He wor travelin’ loike a dago prince, incogniayto—thot are, he wor layin’ low an’ not slappin’ ivery man he mit on th’ back an’ disclosin’ his idin- tity. He wor out wid th’ arly birds, doin’ a bit av private thinkin’ be himsilf, “ Av coorse, he rickneyized me at wanst. Thin, dhriftin’ into a business vein, he sez t' me, sez he, * Hinnigan, I've acquired th’ annoyin’ habit av shpindin’ from thray t’ tin millions befoor brikfist. [ ust t' do it jist t' kape me hand in an’ shtart th’ day roight, but it’s | grown t' be me little ould man av th’ say, an’ cuts me shlape shart in the marnin’. An army av spishilists can’t cure me. | Jest befoor I met yez I picked up another railroad for sivin hunderth and twinty Yousand dollars, which makes me jyeful, |for it indycates thot I'm shlightly con- | valiscint. But to-morrow I'm loikely t” _|indulge me ante-brikfist habit t’ th’ ixtint av twinty millions, an‘ there ye are.’ + Sure, J. Peerpont,’ sez Oi t’ him, Oi sez, Oi shuppose yez hoy some Her- culaneum schames in yer moind ; a man av yer magniflycint mintil attainmints Vitis ‘THE GREAT DOUBLE TRACK SCENIC InGHWAY must be burthened wid gi-gantic tho'ts.” tell yez in confidence,’ sez he, jas we inthered an awtymobill t' go over beyant t’ th’ Hotil Cashtory, ‘t’ tell yez in The little indicator stood immovable “Huh ! sneered the ‘tourist. “I al fake about this Appian Weigh.” But the guide merely suggested that MR. HINNIGAN ON FINANCE. By La Monte Waldron. sub rosy, Hinnigan,’ sez J. P. t' me whin we wor sated, wan lukin’ at th’ other in th’ Cashtory brikfist-room, +Oi have a schame that ‘Il be a twintieth-cinchry wondher. “++ P'raps yez raycall whin Oi boonch- ed th’ shtale inthrists av this greatan’ glor- ious counthry, Hinnigan,’ sez he t' me. «I nodded assint, fer me mim'ry are thot good I pride mesilf on it. “+ Hinnigan,’ sez he, so imphatic thot he shpilt th’ coffee, ¢ thot wor a-game ‘av Oi've bin thinkin’, an’ whin Oi git thot way things move. Me wisthern rind, Jawn D., hov a few million tanks av grease an’ some holes in th’ ground thot he calls a thrust. Me railroads are pilin’ up on me hands so num’rous loike thot Oi'll nade ivery dhrop av ile projuced be th’ Shtandard wurruks t' lubericate th’ axles av me cars. Oi intind t’ make Jawn D. come t' toime be to-morrow or a- Thursda’. “*An' thin Oi'm thinkin’ serious av absorbin’ th’ mate thrust t’ feed me min, av coorse realizin’ th’ legitmit profits. An’ th’ paper thrust are absolutely nicissiry t° furnish me wid material ' answer me im- munse corryshpondince. It are exasperat- in’ to find, whin Oi rache me office in th’ marnin’, thot me clurks hov ixhausted th’ city shupply intoirely, an’ hov t wait till th’ nixt thrain-load arroives. “*An’ thin, Hinnigan '—J. Peerpont fell t' musin’ an’ sippin’ his chice mocha— ‘there’s sivin-hunderth an’ twinty-noine other thrusts thot Oi'll nade a ils." "So yez tuk brikfist wid J. Peerpont, did yez2?” remarked Flinnigan with a doubtful inflection that straightened Hin- nigan up and almost made him double his right fist. “Oi did,” was the reply. * An’ yez ate Frinch dishes wid him at th’ Hotil Cashtory, where th’ proice fer air are a dollar a yard 2" “Oi did.” “Yer me man. Oi nade sivin hun- derth dollars t' rid mesilf av a mortgagee an’ put shtame hate in this domicile.” After inspecting Flinnigan’s counte- nance for half a minute Hinnigan ejacu- lated, “ Moike, Oi hovn't th’ money t me name.” tin-pins. incidint- Flinnigan replaced his foot in the oven, shook the stove, once more caressed the auburn stubble on his chin, and ob- served, “Oi kin wait till a-Frida’, Borry it av yer boon companion an’ old college room-mate, J. Peerpont; an in th’ mane- toime Oi'll git th’ other twinty thousand nicissiry fer improvemints Oi contimplate bechune th’ Goolds an’ Willum. Waldorf Ashter.” AN ILLUSION DISPELLED. TRE tourist had dropped two dollars and eighteen cents into the maw of the slot machine that stood in Rome, but to no avail. and refused to divulge his avoirdupois. ways did think there was a good deal of they hie onward to the coliseum. comicbooks.com