Judge, 1902-01-11 · page 10 of 16
Judge — January 11, 1902 — page 10: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains humorous short pieces typical of Judge magazine's satirical style. The title piece mocks a celebrated pianist (appears to reference real virtuosos like Paderewski) through ironic verse. A famous master of classical music—capable of performing Beethoven and Wagner flawlessly—is upstaged by a little girl playing "Peter, Peter, pumpkin eater" on the piano. The joke: technical mastery means nothing when a child's simple, cheerful performance proves more genuinely delightful. It satirizes pretension and the gap between elite cultural accomplishment and authentic human pleasure. The remaining items are brief joke-vignettes about everyday social awkwardness: a woman too polite to refuse cake, marital dynamics where the husband suspects he's the "wife," a woman being tactlessly forward about servant gossip, and a confusing pun about Admiral Dewey's "tea-drinking." These simple gags mock middle-class social conventions and gender relations—particularly women's behavior and domestic hierarchies. The humor relies on recognizable social situations rather than political content.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
A SERIOUS DEFECT. ADEREWSKL Joseffy Fortissimo Lee Was the greatest pianist you ever did see ; He rendered fa favottes and ca Cadenza and sonatas, He could play like a rushing cyclon Or as softly me He knew all the works of Beethoven iset, Of Wagner and Chopin—not one had he missed. He gained honors and laurels wherever he went, knew he deserved But his pride had a fall, for « A dear little girl came to hear this m And she as he turned politel He was deeply chagrined, and he felt very blue, But he meekly replied, « 1" she respone er two fat forefingers she played it with ea And she afterward said, +1 would rather be me ‘Than Padertwski Joseffy Fortissimo Lec.” CAROLYN WELLS, INANIMATE TALK. MENTAL MICROBE. Mrs. Musrano Borre—" Won't you have a plece of my plum-cake, SOME people won't pay even what they feel they owe them. Mrs. Plow Jar— 1 know it is very good and I should deatly love to selv have a piece: but I really could not eat it. | am plum full now.”* HIS PARENTAGE. Johnny Henpec— Pa, you an’ ma’s one ‘cause ye're married, ain't yer 2” Mr. Henpec— Nes, my son. Johnny—" Wal, which one are you?" Mr. Henpec (cautiously) —" I rather suspect we're your mother.” FAIRLY BRAZEN. Mrs. Witherby— How very forward Mrs. Giggton is.” Witherby— In what way 2” Mrs. Witherby—“ Why, she told me all about her experience with servants before I had a chance to tell her mine.” PECULIAR. He—«" This article states that Admiral Dewey 1s a life-long tea-drinker.” si She—" Indeed! What kind of tea does he WHY HE CAME AROUND. drink 2" Mrs. Frarre—"' What do you mean by coming around here begging ?”” Tired Dour" Why, lady, I sold me regular route ter Weary Woozie, so | has ter Freenne— He—1 don’t know. Strange to say, the ee op ance oak item is not an advertisement. pa NOT AS ADVERTISED. Kooy Swart (inside snow-man)—"" Hurry up, boys! Here comes old Mr. Suincs—" Jack Frost, are ye? Then I'll take a fall out o' ye fer givin’ Slings fuller ‘n a goose. I'll scare him silly.”* me a freeze every time I git a jag on," Nee PLT PAT EDAD DELL LLL ALLEL LLL LE