Judge, 1901-12-07 · page 7 of 16
Judge — December 7, 1901 — page 7: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains multiple satirical pieces reflecting turn-of-the-century social commentary: **"Pleasure?"** depicts a cheap excursion (budget outing), showing crowded, uncomfortable conditions—satirizing working-class attempts at recreation. **"The Cow That Kicked the Bucket"** is an animal fable criticizing labor exploitation: a mistreated dairy cow deliberately spills milk to deprive her owner of profit, only to be brutally beaten. The moral condemns both worker desperation and employer cruelty. **"Reflections of a Spinster"** offers cynical observations about marriage and women, reflecting period anxieties about divorce and female independence. The remaining pieces are brief humorous anecdotes: a child's confusion about dolls, a furniture/apartment paradox, wordplay about zoo animals, and—most pointedly—"Professional Lame Man," which darkly jokes about con artists exploiting disability to commit counterfeiting fraud. This last item satirizes urban crime and dishonesty among the poor. The overall tone blends social criticism with sometimes harsh humor about class, labor, and urban life.
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Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
PLEASURE? Midnight on a cheap excursion—sometimes called a pleasure excursion. COW that had given milk for several years, receiv- ing in return nothing but food, and that often of poor quality and insufficient quantity, decided to make an effort to better her con- dition. “T can't strike and quit work,” she thought “Nature has attended to that. But [can keep my cruel owner from _ profiting by my milk-producing habits.” When the next milking-time came she waited until the farmer had filled the pail with the white fluid, when da Bone - she promptly kicked it over, spilling its con. ai tents on the farmer's clothing. See The farmer, whose ideas of life were ex- ceedingly crude, seized his one-legged milking- stool and broke-three of the cow's ribs. Bunwy—" Say, Jittie girl, what's the use of cry: ing over your doll? Take cne of us."* mused the cow as she REFLECTIONS OF A SPINSTER. TRUE pleasures uplift a man. The false ones are his vices. There are few married couples who have not at some time contem- plated divorce. Beautiful women attract men, but charming women hold them, The best religion is the mutual adoration of a mar- ried couple. Sentiment. in woman centres in the heart; in man, in the brain. It is the chi women to be fault ot cless of a love they possess. The older a woman grows the sweeter sound the words, 1 love you.” There is nothing a man should yuard so zealously as the confidence of the woman who loves him. A college education is superfluocs to a genius or a fool. YADA AcwEN. {think that I will hereafter be satistied with writing letters to W, dow HOLLA:D, A CURIOSITY. ou the keeper of the zoological gar- Tasked. 'm one of him," was the reply. “Ah, thanks. Then perhaps you can show me the cage of the hootmon- goose. ANOTHER CASE OF MAHOMET’S MOUNTAIN. Jim —“Did the Up- towns succeed in getting a new piano for their flat 2" Jack—"No, They had to get a new flat to fit the piano.” Wango ber much o} Gowan—" Well, she's a great small talker.” IN TOPSY-TURVY LAND. Cutorus oF vicritts (to comic artist) —* Here's where we geta chance at you. Will we make you look pretty? Oh, yes!” PROFESSIONAL LAME MAN— POSSIBLE. hy do you fellows always travel in pairs? Tue pums one — ‘Well, you see, I asks for the money and Reggy, me blind partner here, looks out for the counterfeit coins.”” comicbooks.com