Judge — December 7, 1901 — page 11: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

EASY HONORS. “1 hope,” said the drummer, ‘you were THE AUTOMOBILE TO THE HORSE. Young Henry—Pa, wouldn't you like for | quite satisfied with my report for the past be captain of afoot. ball teas? thonth.” Go to, von equirie dotard, Or even if I do short-circuit occasionally? | +e to be captain of a }-ball team ? .' Soon wilt thou find thy pk: If I were e ve id | Proud father—HV'd give about anything to| Well," replied the head of the firm, there | With other relies of ax dneent time; ery & horsest dita the elandersoy/3 sie you one, was one part of it that really exceeded our ex-| The dodo, the pelicoaurus, Gena ranntislcoile, Young Henry—“It's dead easy for you. If} pectations. The thingumbob, and the whatsitsname. Without a cause I'd sh sol buy the ball, the other fellows said they “And what was that?" Aninantam', dst, est thou kno ike me captain, so it's all up to you. ‘our expense bill." —Philadelphia Catho-| But what a heart jstianapolis News. lic Standard and Times. Y and throw my tider. know, for horse, are numbered ? ont » be it know lack of | When man has once begun to feel ancestry. | The thrill of life above the wheel T would have you know | Of an automobile, 1 am the fruit of generations and generations | He turn 1g eyes upon thee of giant brains, And murmurs gently, The conception of years ot thought and toil | Thou wert a good makeshift have conceived n In times gone by true, Dost the , lusty fellow, ha constitution of steel, not mere Thou would’st point with scorn atm; The New York Central Railroad, not con- | w: tent with breaking all records in ‘each and |New York Central is the only railroad’ that coety department of up-to-date railroading, is | runsa paper like The Four. Track News, which, 10 the field of letters, and getting | for all-round success, is, so to speak, a hot Four. Track News, wl pounds in| journal. After a whi Is may, we rts of information relating to travel, ine fancy, have cach car of his Sunday trains clading a choice bit setting forth a formula by | equipped with a clergyman to pre ting any time. So far as we know, the b if ch to the As the swift-moving railway train has displaced | I thank thee kindly, which a man with two galleries of artificial | tourists, and on week-days have story-tellers the lumbering stage-couch, But with the Alsorans tecth may eat a spring chicken of five ycars in| to entertain the public out on the fly. " Horse- | So T will displace you. Thou must stand aside, five minutes while the train waits. Mr. George | story, fish-story, ghost-story, and. golf-story |T have my faults, but my virtues o'ertower IL. Daniels drops into history as gracefully as| cars might be so labeled that every. traveler them.” if the latter were one of Doctor Perry's might take his choice. Mr. Daniels would| What if l bust a flue, | us how the New York Ce write all these stories in his happiest manner, | Or if my carburettor fails to carburette, The Motor World. ocomotive—the De Witt Cline | and the real romance of the New York Central zi d stages warmed 0 h be found on the trains and not in Ars, Whyte— Your paper at the club last) Afr. Botts—«1 think, my dear, T have at » cars, just as a piece of comed beef is wy, and traditions that bristle along | night was very ine : last found warmed over into green-eyed terrapin by the This statement will be credited by | "hype, Br Mrs. Botts restaurant. Now the system controls |all those people who have had the rare good | — fps. Wayte—'After all, I think it isa gre: c key to su Well, just as like as not you'll ble to find the key-hole."— Yonkers 453 miles of road, and the smile of the man | fortune to hear Mr. Daniels tell golf-stories, | deal better to get a paper written. for you than | Statesman. who is the happy possessor of an any-old-sized | especially the classic one of a Scotch knight | to try to work it up yourself Se parcel of its stock is ev. er—so much | who, after playing for 2] 0 1 days up in| Journal. Stern father —* Dis longer that he has to wear an air-brake in his | Maine, where there was no Scotch whiskey, — hat to control his hilarity. He knows that this | drank so much from a pump that he got what! Gold Medal at PaneAme great road-bed is a road-bed of roses for him, | Mr. D. calls aqueous d. t., and saw water-| py. Ttell you not to call again, sir? itor—*1 know ; but I didn't call to see Siegert’s prted A your daughte 1° on behalf of our fi while it is also the road-bed that affords the | snakes and milkmen. A copy of Zhe Four. | legert's Import Pee ihee maa vit aie on elle of ob: him, \ best facilities for walking, if the said Thespian | Track News may be had by sending a t¥~| 017 nore were ta —er—eall again, won't has only the forethought to supply himself mp to George H. Daniels, Grand Cen-| 4 i vere were te " with a hand-glass, that he may side-step any Station, Forty-second Street, New Vork | Std the on edhed fF eokered chibive aul all first-class trains going his way without | City, U. S./A. attention of her class of colored children, - — two were missir it 7 ould you hav Modern composer— Abbott's, the Original Angostura Bitters, wou, ss | song that’s be tower of strength. Fly to Tr in time of we Well,” answered Pic | Manager s ngthens and invigorates the whole Chickens was. mine in de, fus! Td have Modern composer—** None ‘body. Get it at druggis in’ if dey wasn’t I reckon I'd have Manager —** Any fan in it? Modern composer— one morning, how The Wages of Wisdom is Content! ¥ # ¥ @ isa} — | Sot a | “Tt seems impossible to break into society," Mangers": Any: music 101 moaned the ee ‘This is the fourth tme| Dr. Kilmer’s “'SWAM P- RO oT eee a arene ve town tis have been operated on for appendicitis, and | is not recommended for everything: but if you have Te Wetge | Neb akethe town!" | the only invitation I have received is one to! Il be found just the Eads hd cask il and settle with the surgeon."”—Baltimore American. Cough Syr nt cases of co Ie will cure when oth will make « cold on chest « Vand be sure to sty you read this advertisement in Jeboe > Il Gratify the thirsty and What was é the cost per game?—when 6,175 games were played with one 25-cent pack of | Please the wise. Y wv Bicycle a Playing) ound) Cards | Constable CC, Letter from player who ———— did this, and a colored ‘ mma) Rich Laces. request. Bicycle cards always wear well. why do. you pe | nur umbrella 2” you look around thank you for giving me your seat. , don't go off and say that women t any manners." — 770} Packer’s \ Gold Lion Tar Soap jf Cocktails require the use of cracked | . ng tis . | Gold Medal, Buffalo, 1901. Honiton, Duchess, and Brussels is pure, mild, invigorating and ice and peel of lemon to _ Grand Pri Pars, 1900. Point, antiseptic. It soothes while i] fully develop their great \j Highest Award, Chicago, 2893. Lon eptic., tt S00! Bee eee eee ME | A rz0page condensed Hoyle mailed for6flap, Point Appliqué and Round | cleansing, and for more than a superiority over all others. ends of Bicycle boxes or five 2c. stamps. Point. | quarter of a century has been Gold medal, 1900. ‘TheU. S. Playing Card Co., Dept. 26, Cincinnatl,O. Point Venise Allovers, Galons | and Laces to match. we orter Irish Crochet Allovers. The Standard Seven varieties. RLANTATION PHILGSOER . : Cook and Berahelmer Co., New York , | For the Hair and Skin! \ ig /) int in de worl, de very best Cin know is—what we is here r. CS pr Tt don’t take us long ter know des how de ‘The Packer Mfg. Co., 81-83 Fulton St., New York. | OSs ae Sip wont wine : He & 19th a. go’ long wid it en 5 NEW YORK. THE “SOHMER” HEADS THE) , Hore is 3 five ving ter cutiwate; but wen nt LIST OF THE HIGHEST ope goes back on you, de best way ter do is ter tu'n back en cultiwate hope over erg GRADE PIANOS. De rain falls on de jest en de unjest—de only trouble is, de jest gits drownded et frequent ez what de unjest docs, En dat’s whar we falls ter doubtin’. June brings de peach en de watermelon; whar'fo’, let de sun shine en de worl’ blaze, — PI A N OS Arkansaw Thomas Cat. NEW YORK THEATRES. Sohmer Building, irUreater New York. Manhattan Theatre q Wise | F AM Lavfestebiresi oe “|| COLLARS CUFESRSHIRTS MRS,,, FISKE rE} BE REOMES: pS ‘134 02. bottle, postage prepaid ay recel pt of $1.50. uses permet ones | AQ BEST IN THE WORLD. | Mapiemnbnmnetramnuiepntettals AMCs cca eaaa ‘Aa Everyday Drama by MRS. BURTON HARRISON. New York Central’s Grand Central Station, - "ER oy veel! OF comicbooks.com