Judge — October 19, 1901 — page 3: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

A PHILIPPINE MELODRAMA. By Capi in Thomas H, Wilton, U.S. A. BEING A TRUE ACCOUNT OF THE LOVES OF SWEET DOLORES, ADOLPHUS AND THE CAPTAIN, A MODEST maid of ancient, high degree D c So when Adolphus, in a day or two, Was Sweet Dolores, of those far-off isles, Received an order sending him to scout The Philippines ; her father a rich Don, The country ‘twixt his staticn and the west, Who dressed his daughter in the latest styles He left his ** angel ” without fear or doubt; Of importations from Japan and France ; E’en asked the Captain, as his dearest crony, She'd studied English, French, knew how to dance, To sce that Sweet Dolores wasn't lonely. ‘Twas at a ball in honor of some Saint, And Sweet Dolores, in most gracious mood, But here I falter—e'en my muse rebels— Prattled and talked unto her heart's delight To tell how this bold Captain carried on ; With khakied soldiers (whom she found not rude) In his skilled hands, Dolores was as wax— In spite of friends’ and father's admonition, To whom ‘ Americanos” meant perdition. A bold marauder and a startled fawn ; She trembled, blushed and wept, and cried, No! no! Yet held the Captain while she bade him go. iP G ] ny il { 1 i And so this villain married Sweet Dolores, i i FE For to his suit her father he did win ; iH re He taught him poker, won his love and shekels, 7 \ Showed him the virtue of ** cracked ice and gin ;” << i In fact, he acted with such tact and skill r a Nyy A 7 ‘That all agreed * Adolphus was a pill.” 1 ie " 35) \| anal Ry Neg i | Drop here the curtain ; what of poor Adolphus, es) i) Sse) a Me Betrayed by sweetheart and his dearest friend ? ‘| pA ZL '9 = }) Alas ! dear reader, I dislike to tell you th «4 Of this poor chap's most melancholy end— i He left the army, took to cocks and vino, And married a full-blooded Filipino. ‘Twas young Adolphus, of the ‘* Second Foot,” And not much versed in woman or her ways, But Sweet Dolores to his soul appealed, So free from guile and care and—sometimes—"* stays ;” For in the tropics there’s much latitude Regarding woman's dress and attitude. But to our story: Both hearts loved at sight, And though her father raved and stormed, and swore ‘That to a convent she should quickly hie And see her bold Adolphus’ face no more, She only laughed, as maids in stories do, And swore ** that to her soldier she'd be trae.” ‘Thus time rolled by, until one night at mess Adolphus, heated with much wine and love, Boasted (the lad was somewhat of a cad) Of “*his sweet girl—an angel from above,” Pledged Sweet Dolores ; swore he'd be her spouse, And, ah, me ! asked his Captain to the house. Red lights; slow music ; enter here the villain, No longer slim nor in the flush of youth, Who'd had of life all that to him was coming— Lived forty years and knew a thing, forsooth, And, like * Iago," when he saw them cooing, Straightway devised a plan for their undoing. NO OBJECT. SOMETIMES wish | had as much money as Russell Sage.” “Tdon't, I should hate to have to get along ‘on so little as he doe: HALF AND HALF. Small Boy (summering in the country) —" Ob, papa, did you know they didn’t pump the milk out of a well?” Father (fecalling the blue milk of the city)— “Um—er—er—I guess I only about half knew it, my son.” ON THE DAY OF ARRIVAL Smith— \ don't see anything very rocky about this coast. Brown Wait until you sample the beds.” DO A RUSHING BUSINESS. A HARDER MATTER. Jaggles—" Are those five-cent stores very Miss STRONGMYND (reho has been struck for a nickel)—'* Well, you're a fine specimen of a man!” popular Worn WitLie—" Tanks, awfully ; T couldn't so readi classify you." Wa gles—" The beer saloons are.” comicbooks.com