Judge, 1901-09-28 · page 8 of 20
Judge — September 28, 1901 — page 8: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page collects several short humorous pieces targeting early 20th-century American life and literary pretension. **"To O. Lovell Triggs"** mocks a Chicago poet, ridiculing his self-importance and suggesting he writes inflated verse about his city ("city of push and pigs," referencing Chicago's industrial/meatpacking reputation). The satire attacks literary vanity. **The domestic cartoon** jokes about a husband's complaint that his wife sticks chewing gum on his head—a crude marital complaint typical of Judge's humor. The remaining pieces are brief comedic vignettes: a snail as a slow policeman, a writer postponing his book while writing promotional blurbs, sailing anecdotes, and naval humor. Overall, this page reflects Judge's formula: attacking literary pretension, poking fun at contemporary urban life (especially Chicago), and offering light domestic/social humor. The tone is irreverent and populist, mocking both highbrow culture and everyday American absurdities.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
OUT OF BUSINESS. TO O, LOVELL TRIGGS H, TRIGGS! Who dancest jigs Upon the back of Pegasus, And, in a mood Saturnian, Drinks Old Falernian, And thinks ‘The only pen is that in which Chicago finds ‘The poet's wreath that binds Her windy brow about In linkéd sausage long drawn out— Say, Triggs, y don t you write a verse ‘To show how worse ‘Than you Are all those poets who ‘Are come beneath your ban? Why, man, You'll miss ‘The opportunity of your life If you let this Best chance to do 1 A stunt in poesy slip through “Hi, dar, ole Mr. Your fingers. B'ar! don’ yo’ come up Gee whiz! What real try is will heres caiee be known Except through you alone. ‘The Muse will never know How stale and flat She is until you show her Where she’s at, Then peel off your coat, ol), poet Of the city of push and pigs, And cover with fame AND WE DON'T BLAME HIM. poetic name 5 OLv Sot Kuck (to Ais young wife)—'* Hattie, I'll stand a good deal from ye, ‘cause I Of we only LC ear ha oe ye; but, gosh-blame it! ee en ‘B stop stickin’ yer chewin'’gum on my head.” STRETCHING A POINT, ¢s¢TO RUBBER,’ the peda. gogue said, “doth imply So many a curious transgres-ion Of all things polite that I cannot deny It's a very elastic expression.” VIEWPOINTS. 2 Vachtsman—" That was avery —Vo' is? Den I gwine f bo Ney difficult’ mana-uvre — the hardest teach yo’ some & tack we had yet.” Epicure—* Nonsense! It was- n't a marker to that hardtack you served for dinner.” THE CUSTOMARY KIND. Jaggles—" When they went off on the yachting cruise what kind of JUST A LITTLE LATE. a tender did they take along?” SNAIL POLICEMAN—" By Jove! I've run him down at last.” Waggles—" A bar-tender.” BOOK POST- PONED. ssLjow's your new book coming along?” “Oh, I haven't begun it yet.” “What's the matter?” “Iam busy supplying my pub- lishers with press notices explaining how I came to think of its title.” FATE. Crawford— “You must have had a fine time on board the yacht if the owner kept a My 4 French chef.” aT Crabshaw— : “Why, man, I was ——l kin fetch papwid degun Seasick all the “fore he wakes up.” time.” —_ DO HIM GOOD. : * Say, Henry, it wouldn't be such a great misfortune if you were tarred and comicbooks.com