Judge, 1901-09-28 · page 6 of 20
Judge — September 28, 1901 — page 6: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains several short humorous pieces typical of early 20th-century American satirical magazines: **"In Harmony"** jokes that a woman dressed fashionably for a concert—with an accordion-pleated skirt and brass-band belt—ironically matches the music itself. **"Forewarned"** presents Irish-accented working-class characters (Pat and Mike, indicated by dialect) in a joke about marital anxiety: Mike calls a doctor preemptively, not because his wife is sick, but to have medical evidence he didn't cause her death, anticipating blame. **"Comforted"** is a sentimental poem about a grandmother consoling a punished child with reassurance from her own experience raising his father. The remaining pieces are light social comedy: "Imperative" mocks sermon timing; "A Hare Cut" and "A Fiasco in French" feature wordplay; "The Perils of Guessing" plays on golf terminology confusion; and the final caption jokes about nagging mothers-in-law. The page reflects Judge's formula: mixing sentiment, ethnic humor, domestic comedy, and gentle social observation without political content.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
IN HARMONY. GHE attended the concert and, as she believes, She was dressed in ap- propriate taste : ‘An accordion skirt and long piped sleeves And a brass band around her waist. FOREWARNED. Pat—“And how is the wife, Mike?” Mike—" Sure and 1 had the doctor last night.” Pat—" | didn’t know thot she was so sick as thot.” Mtke—" No, and she didn’t need him; but iv she hod died, sure and she would always hov blamed me !" IMPERATIVE, Jaggles —* Why do FAVORITES. they start the organ as GERTRUDE RENNYSON. ‘ Of light sopranos, only the élite over ? Are trusted with the role of Marguerite: ‘Such your good fortune—and your hearers’, too, Since you reveal a talent gracile, true, ‘Oue future joy sufficient to insure halos In ‘high things we'll expect of you, be sure! gation.’ COMFORTED. NE time when I was awful bad They sent me off to bed ; An’ I got over bein’ mad, An’ covered tight my head, Waggles —" Why, to wake up the congre- soon as the sermon is with a golf club, eh? lofter or putter ?* ‘An’ dassn’t go to sleep, becuz I mightn’t wake at morn, An’ cried an’ cried, an’ guessed I was ‘The baddes' ever born. But grandma, she come up the stair, An’ looked in on the sly, An’ held my hand, an’ smoothed my hair, An’ told me not to cry ; For when my pa was small, she said, ‘An’ "bout the size of me, She'd often sent him straight to bed ‘As bad as he could be ! ~ Conen —'* My mudder-in-law talks all der time like a house afire.” Isaacs —* I haff often vondered vy you didn't try to put her out! Dot oxblains it.” ACCOUNTED FOR. THE NAME THAT APPEALED. Gotr exreRt—" So you received an accidental blow in the face What were you hit with—brassie, cleek, mashie, ‘t sure which, but I think by the way my nose felt when I was struck that it must have been a mashy all right.” A FIASCO IN FRENCH, HE READ a thousand poems, or so, And rejected the blessed lot, Beginning with one, where the phrase, “ bon-mot,”” Was rhymed with the words," have got!” THE PERILS OF GUESS- ING, Dolly —* Whereabouts on the boat are the st. Cholly —* Why — er — they're around the ribs, don’t you know.” comicbooks.com