Judge — September 14, 1901 — page 14: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

THE NAUGHTY MERMAID. MERRY little mermaid lived in a coral cave ; A mischievous and willful maid was she. Her mother often sighed and said, You're the baddest little mermai you do drink, I wish you would behave— in the sea! “You swim in dangerous waters, where the rolling ocean swells, In channels where the currents swiftly flow. You will not go to school, but play around ‘mong reefs and shells, To places where no mermaid ought to go. “* With a lot of rude sea-urchins you go scampering everywhere. I really don’t see why you can't be good And sit upon a rock and sing and comb your golden hair, Ass any well-conducted mermaid should.” TRIMBLE WHISKEY HIGH BALL But the naughty little mermaid heeded not this good advice— It has the call. She never would attend the school of fish ; And with the rude sea-urchins she thought that it was nice To swim around wherever she might wish. Now what do you think happened to this mermaid so perverse? One day she caught the measles—yes, she did ! She had to go right straight to bed, and rapidly grew worse. Oh, she was a sorry little invalid ! Green Label. ‘AT ALL FIRST-CLASS DEALERS. Old Dr. Shark was called, and he prescribed some seaweed tea, And said they must cut off her lovely hair! Now, mermaids’ hair won't grow again, so ever after she A little ruffled cap was forced to wear. But when that little mermaid grew well and strong once more She determined she would be as good as gold, She never played such naughty tricks as she had done before, And she always did whatever she was told. SHYLOCK By Leon Harman. Y FRIEND Shylock Holmes entered the office with his customary cat-like tread. He hung his hat on a chair and sat down upon the piano. "1 perceive,” he said," that a man with large feet and long whiskers has been smok- ing a Pittsburg stogie in this room.” I did not refrain from appearing aston- ished—I did not want to discourage him. “He was a populist,” Holmes contin- ued, “and carried an umbrella with a rip in the cover and a Cuban flag tied around the black-walnut handle.” I could not conceal my wonder. “ How did you guess all that?" 1 gasped. “ Strange,” said Holmes; “ I could read your thought. I knew you would ask me that very question. It is very easy,” he con tinued, referring to my question, He trans- ferred a piece of chewing-gum from under- neath the what-not to his mouth, “In the first place,” he began, fixing his eagle eye upon the end of his boot, “he had large feet. He stepped on your corns as he went out. You drew your feet under the chair as ‘I came in, Besides, there is his foot- print. It is muddy out.” I stared at him, aghast at his wisdom. His powers of observation are beyond me sometimes. It was he who detected that red hair on my shoulder last week. * He wore long whiskers, because I no- tice that my comb is full of long coarse hairs, exactly one-tenth of a shade darker CAROLYN WELLS, HOLMES. I gasped assent. He removed a tack from the carpet and proceeded. “T know that he has been smoking a Pittsburg Havana from my extraordinarily | acute sense of smell, Not one ina million | can detect the difference between the smoke | = of a cigarette and of a steam-engine. | can.” He paused for effect, and, moved by his tremendous intellect, I sat in awe. “can understand all,” I said,“ except your reason for believing that he carried the umbrella you described.” “That, my dear boy, is the simplest | proposition of all. ‘The umbrella mentioned stands over there in the corner.” I fainted. Wher I regained conscious- ness Shylock Holmes lay on the divan, rap- | idly taking notes on his cuff. “You were just four hours and thir- teen minutes coming out of that," he re- snarked. “ During your indisposition I have | ferreted out three murders, a bank robbery, and a plagiarism for the New York Hild, besides borrowing the price of a dinner from your pocket.” “Tell me one thing more,” I begged. “ What is it?” he asked: “How in the name of the Queen did you know he was a populist ?” His lips curled scornfully. “Because there was a strong. draught | in the room as I came in,” he answered, That man Holmes is a marvel. He than my own. Do you follow me?” P.O. PY LL night he tossed upon his bed, So much was he elated. Success had surely come his way, ‘Though years he'd worked and waited. Yes, after years of fruitless toil And tiresome meditation, A paper took his joke and wrote, ** Will pay on publication.” FRANK STRICKLAND. will make me famous some day. He thought of methods, ways and means, Investments, speculations No rest for him when he must face Such grave deliberations. YACHTING NOT “*Call this pleasure? Well, all I can say is, give mes Il water and a fishing-line ! pre Rabeon fuperior tn ever ne-fourth 1 ‘other chemica of corrode. the’ pen, and weil mate eecelient copy, Made ts Uk colors. OUR “TRUST YOU"" Proposition to Agents Send us your name and address, with one bosiness man for a reference, and we will rer ‘sade fourteen. (Ketall price of| Parke second dozen boxes of Tablets aod Pen are your pronerty, to sell oF di jehoose, aad from thelr sal fon the transaction, ‘Aaaitional Tables Wholesale prices Wri THOMAS A. EDISON Jr. CHEMICAL CO., 31-33-35 Stone St., New York, U.S. A. of jaished Fountain Pea. EARL & WILSON'S COLLARS CUFFS&SHIRTS BESTINTHE WORLD. If 224 Liguer jabie cared OPIUM: rm é i | Wate DES . Dept. 1. (/ ay is published everywhere August 20th. YOU CAN'T PAIL TO MISS IT! 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