Judge, 1901-09-07 · page 12 of 20
Judge — September 7, 1901 — page 12: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page collects short humorous items typical of Judge magazine's satirical format: **"Plugging the Exit"** jokes about a teacher whose warning that students don't retain information backfires—a child literally plugs his ear with cotton to prevent knowledge from leaving. **"His Only Difficulty"** presents Uncle Josh (a rural Southern character stereotype) unable to remove an incandescent lamp's chimney—satirizing rural unfamiliarity with modern technology. **"Is It the Boston Way?"** contrasts regional attitudes: a Dakota woman shocked at lynching, a Boston woman unimpressed, suggesting Bostonians' snobbish focus on etiquette ("solecism"—grammatical error) over moral issues. **"Longfellow Up to Date"** parodies Longfellow's sentimental poetry style applied to modern annoyances (moths, train seating). **"Monkish Tragedy"** uses mock-Italian dialect to tell a farcical story of a monk losing earnings to a woman—ethnic humor common to the era. Other items joke about courting, drinking, and vanity. The page reflects Judge's formula: wordplay, ethnic stereotypes, and gentle social satire aimed at educated audiences.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
INGROWING HUMOR. HAPPY thought struck me,” said Bunting, continuing his remarks. “There is one very queer thing about: your many happy thoughts,” said Larkin. hat is that?” “You never give expression to one. They always strike in.” PLUGGING THE EXIT. Teacher (to one of her enfants terri- ble, who has cotton in one of his ears) — ‘ ” Freddy, why have le. you put that cotton in your ear ?” “ Please, ma'am, because you told me yesterday that every- thing you said to me went in one ear and out the other; and so— and so I thought this way it would stay in.” HIS ONLY DIFFICULTY. Unctr Josu (with incandescent lamp)—"* Yes, ‘Mandy, everybody uses these lamps up to New York, but I can't git the blamed chimbly off to light it.” IS IT THE BOSTON WAY? Miss West (of Dakota, as the Deadwood Dick lynching bee goes by)—" Oh, they are going to hang that man! I wonder what crime he has committed ?” é Guat Nah *. 1, Miss Emerson (of Boston, severely)—" Per- haps he has committed a solecism.” LONGFELLOW UP TO DATE. THERE is no frock however w. tched and tended But one moth-miller is there ! There is no ‘* L" road train when day is ended That has one vacant chair. MDH f xl A DEVILISH EASY. Uf Co se] VE knocked at the door of Innocence q iy twice,” said the angel, “and no one an- swered.” “Here!” said the Devil, “take my latch- key.” AY \y \ NT) i) A VALUABLE ACQUISITION, Mrs. Brrp —"' Sic’ ‘em, Fido, sic’ ‘em! Ah, I tell you, their watch dogs aren't in it with this faithful bee of mine.” DIFFICULT COURTING. BacueLon Potato —"' It's dem queer — every time I sit next Miss Onion I can’t help crying.” MONKISH TRAGEDY. ELLA MATTINA Taka da monk’, Shoulder da org’, Kissa da wife, Walka five mile, Playa da tune, Getta no mon’, Thinka hard life. Una bell’ donna Open da wind’, Throwa da cent, Caught by da monk’, Thena he swallow. “Taka ma knife, Getta da mon’, Losa ten plunk. RED. CLINTON, 'HE hard drinker would be all right if he could not keep his head above water. AN EXAGGERATED OPINION OF HIMSELF. THe rouTER-rIGEON —"* Humph ! Seems to me I don’t weigh much for my size.”