Judge, 1901-08-24 · page 7 of 16
Judge — August 24, 1901 — page 7: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains multiple satirical pieces typical of late 19th-century Judge magazine: **"Supplementary Hit"** mocks pianist Paddy Whizzski, a caricatured ethnic figure whose performance has a "screw loose"—a pun on both mechanical failure and mental instability. **"The Salvation of Robert Black"** satirizes temperance advocates. Robert, raised by an old-fashioned, pious mother and never drinking, represents the temperance ideal. When confronted by a drunken gunman in a frontier bar demanding he drink, Robert's pathetic speech about his ruined youth backfires: instead of shooting him, the gunman is so disgusted by Robert's weakness that he forces liquor upon him. Robert then becomes a drunkard. The joke: temperance produces such pathetic, contemptible men that even outlaws reject them, and paradoxically, Robert only becomes a "man" through drinking. **Additional sketches** include county-fair humor and a crab joke. The satire targets 1880s-90s temperance movements, suggesting their moral framework produces inadequate men unfit for real life.
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Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
A SUPPLEMENTARY HIT. gleamed the ar- senal. “All hands drink!" quoth the man. All hands save-the old- fashioned Rob- ert at once be- sieged the bar. The fierce man glared at him, laying both hands upon the arsenal, “Drink, stranger!" he Pianist Paddywhizzki gracefully wheeled on his roared. piano-stool to bow to applause ; but, nevertheless — —there was a ** screw loose" in his performance. THE SALVATION OF ROBERT BLACK. N OLD-FASHIONED BOY was Robert : Black, with an old-fashioned mother, who ui i we iN brought him up in an old-fash- ioned way. He read the Bible, a book much admired by his grandfather. He never saw a pack of cards, a dime novel, nor a toy pistol. He never ran away from home. He married an old- fashioned girl in the old-fash- ioned way, and his name was never mentioned in an elope- ment nor a divorce case. All that he was at six-and-twenty he owed to his mother. At the age of thir- ty he found himself in the wild West, and one day wandered into a hotel bar-room in a frontier town, An ar- senal walked in with a man. Fierce . looked “Excuse me,” Robert stammered, as a : Pesce rae flush came to yy wy 2M oy, Partng MY ng Y his cheeks. "1 Yul Wanglhctstaam MK ay Mer gig own it with shame, but I never drink. As a youth T suffered many disadvantages. While other boys were out securing their share of liquor I was tucked away in bed. I was defrauded of my education. My prospects are blighted, my future is dark. I long todie. Please blaze away, and do not let me suffer. Shoot directly at my heart. Good-bye, all. Send a lock of hair to my mother. Bury me in my Sunday clothes, which you will find in my valise. Place upon my tomb, ‘Died from neg- AN lect.’ That is all. You may \ ee Oe aa AT THE COUNTY FAIR. Uncix Cyrus Wiccins—"* Well, I see Bill Se tuk first prize fer hogs,” Jum Beene (who expected the prise)—** Well, he orto, He's a prize hog hisself." fire when ready, mister.” j The heartless cow- My boy laughed a brutal HT ZAIN il! laugh and dropped his VL ah Ht f Bik gun upon the bar. Pap ih en Se “No!” he said , Mth, 980; [RE “yy, iif) Reese fii i sadly; “you are too j —Y aii My) My CHAI Uh if UT} te \ fy S ornery to die, You de- ” i ; serve to live and suf- { fer. Fill up the glass- tox es, bar-keep! There! 4 this is rum—vile, red rum. I'ma bum—big, rough bum. Watch me drink.” From that day and hour Robert Black was a changed man. His hair turned premature- ly white. WILL S. CLEMENS. ee HE. young crab as f they pulled off his Miss Toab—"'I really can’t see why people keep a-raving over these roses, Why, they haven'teven [€g—" That's a soft the man and dangerous as much as one wart to be proud of.” snap!" CHARLIE'S OUTING—A SAD STORY IN TWO CHAPTERS. comicbooks.com