Judge, 1901-08-24 · page 6 of 16
Judge — August 24, 1901 — page 6: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains several short humorous pieces typical of early 20th-century American satire: **"A Summer Girl's Letter"** satirizes the romantic disappointments of a young woman vacationing at a seaside hotel. She complains of boredom and the absence of eligible men—she'd trade "a dozen sea-serpents for one man." The joke targets the gap between summer resort fantasies and dull reality. **"A Foreign Substance"** plays on a newlywed wife's cooking. When Mr. Newlywed complains of something odd in the hash, she lists increasingly questionable ingredients (old potatoes, kidney stew). His conclusion that "fresh vegetables" are the problem mocks both her cooking and his desperation to be polite. **"A-DAM"** makes a pun: a child asks his father what he calls "prickly green foliage," and when told "nettles," observes the father used different language when pricked—implying a stronger curse word. **"A Mistake in the Dark"** describes a man who kissed a woman in darkness, only to discover he'd kissed her sister instead—playing on mistaken-identity comedy. The remaining pieces are brief observational humor about children and disappointment.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
A SUMMER GIRL’S LETTER. EAR FANNIE—I write you this letter to-day To tell you how lovely it is down this way— I don't think, We have been at this hateful hotel For—to speak as the natives— “+a mighty long spell,” And all I can do is to read Summer books ; To loaf by myself in the shadi- est nooks : To wander at eve by the sad sounding sea, Alone, unattended, entirely free; To watch for a vision of what, up to date, Has utterly failed to appear “while you wait.” They say the sea-serpent 's ex- tinct, obsolete. Perhaps they are right—I am not quite complete In sea-serpentology ; but this I assert, Beyond contradiction by any expert, That, scarce as they are, they are legion compared With the number of men who so far have shared My loneliness with me. In fact, dearest Fan, I've a dozen sea-serpents to trade for one man, If you've got one to spare send him here p. d. q.s And I shall be ever Yours gratefully, Sur. A FOREIGN SUBSTANCE. Mr. Newiywep—"* Jane, there must have been some foreign substance in the hash this morning. Mus, NewLywen—"'I think not, dear. ‘There was nothing in it but that cold beef and lamb, and a scrap of fish, and a few old potatoes, and the remains of an omelette, and a kidney stew, and a few fresh vegetables, and "—— Mr. NewLywen—" That's it—it's the fresh vegetables !” A-DAM. . ma, what did pa name that prickly green foliage?” Nettles,” my son. Why?” Cain—"* Well, that wasn’t the word he used when they pricked his hand just now, A MISTAKE IN THE DARK. THOUGH she stroggied at first, When I caught her and kissed her, In love's lore she seemed versed, For her lush lips she pursed— Now let Fate do its worst — Who'd have dreamed ‘twas her sister? Though she struggled at first When I caught her and kissed her. ROY FARRELL GREENE. A SEASHORE FANCY. Willie—*1 think the stork would sit down if he only had a high chair.” Mamma—" And why do you think he would like a high chair Willie — Because it would give him a chance to let his legs hang over.” A WILDERNESS INDEED. Madge—“ Wasn't there any one at all to flirt with where you were in the coun- try?" Marjorte—"Why, my dear, I didn’t even sce one ‘of those men who paint pa- tent-medicine advertisements on the roc VERY silver lining has a cloud. Tt sounded more like the last part of pa’s own name.” comicbooks.com