Judge — August 24, 1901 — page 2: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Sage PUBLISHED ONCE 4 WEEK AT THE JUDGE BUILDIN Terms to Subscribers. oman sat One copy, one year. One copy, six moni One copy. for thirteen aes Including the Cusistaas Jvoos. FOREIGN SUBSCRIPTIONS — To alt foreign countries in the postal union, $6.00 ayer. ing, Chicage. ms building, Chancery lane, contents of Juoce are protected by copyrigt Infringement of this copyright will be prompt! vigorously prosecuted. CONTRIBUTORS must taclose a stamped and self-addressed envelope with all manyscripts, otherwise return of the latter when found waavallable cannot be guare anteed. + DRAWINGS aad all other contributions seat to the Art Department should have the sender's full name and address written plalaly oa each and every separate sketch. The accompanylag joke or descriptive letter-press should in every Instance be written upon its ladividual picture, and NOT upon a separate slip of paper. Ia- closure of stamps to the full amount of postage Is also required, to lasure safe and prompt return of material not accepted. . "SEE THAT HUMP?" that Buffalo has got on. cee . span “.NING OUT WELL—The Buffalo Exposition. eee Mk: BRYAN'S horrible fate—to be politically buried alive! eee A FELLOW FEELING—between “historian” Maclay and the Matan- zas mule. THE SUCCESS of the forthcoming Hebrew Exposition may safely be said to be insured. see CFL RHODES is a physical wreck, but Dr. Jameson and Alfred Austin are still com- paratively robust. Cer NOTHER ILLUSION GONE! The once invincible Aguinaldo has sunk to writing for the Americano ten-cent monthly magazines. eee HERE MUST have been a hot time in the old (Charles A.) Towne before he could bring him- self to declare that free silver is a dead issue. . ASUINALDO says be has vague recollection of hav- ing heard Sixto Lopez's name, CHICAGO TASTE. ROFESSOR TRIGG of the Chicago University says the sacred hymns are all doggerel. For himself, he prefers dime novels and yellow journals, The Chicago professor is a man of much taste, mostly bad. A SAFEGUARD AGAINST SCHLEY-PHOBIA. ECRETARY LONG has decreed that all officers of the United States Navy shall go muzzled from now until the Sampson-Schley court of inquiry, in September. ‘The Secretary himself has latterly developed a case of lockjaw. THE LEISURE CLASS. U.S. Government official, at San Francisco (to Pacific Emigrant Agent)—" Don't you know that the importation of Asiatic laborers is pro- hibited 2” Agent— Laborers! Why, your honor, I can certify that these fellows are all Chinese and Filipino hoboes—never did a stroke of work in their lives.” A GOVERNMENT GRAFT. HE BUREAU OF ENGRAVING AND PRINTING at Washington is at work on a new ten-dollar note. It will be known as the " Buffalo bill"—not in honor of the Wild-West hero, to be sure, but because its principal engraving will be the picture of a big bison, Mr. George H. Daniels, of Empire State Express fame, had better look to his advertising laurels. GIUSEPPE’S HARD LUCK. GIUSEPPE GENEROSA, from sunny Sicily, applied at the Kings County (N. Y.) Court for admission to the rights of American citi- zenship. “Who makes the laws of this State?” asked Judge Aspinwall, in the course of interrogatory examination. Giuseppe smiled blandly and answered, “ Richa da Croke.” “Do you mean Richard Croker?” inquired the Court. “ Yes."’said the applicant confidently. * Well, Giuseppe, you are unqualifiedly rejected,” was the verdict. And yet he was not so far wrong! MANY HAPPY DAYS! $¢ | AM ADMONISHED in many ways,” writes Mark Twain in response to an invitation to attend the celebration of Missouri's admission to the Union, “that time is pushing me inexorably along. I am ap- proaching the threshold of age; in 1977 I shall be one hundred and forty-two. This is not time to be flit- ting about the earth. I must cease from the activities proper to youth and begin to take on the dignities and gravities and inertia Proper to that season of honorable se- nility which is on its way and immi- nent—as indicated above.” Mean- while, though, he’s a right spry son of old Mizzoura. “NOTHING DOING.” A FRIEND and close reader of JupGe —and, what is more, a regular paying sub- scriber—writes in compliment- ary terms of Gillam’s cartoon entitled, “ Nothing Doing !—Hot Weather,” in our number of July but he can’t place him. This ix piling on the Agoncillo! ROFESSOR STARR, the noted anthropoid of the Chicago University, is “demon- strating“ on the theory that the human race in these United States is rapidly reverting to the Indian type. Perhaps this may account for Tammany. eee N ORDINANCE recently adopted by the village trus- tees of Tarrytown decrees that “Any or ner of a dog found at large without being muzzled will be subjected toa ten-dollar tine.” There is J. Pierpont Morgan, for instance, who takes great pride in his kennels, When he goes to Tarrytown to visit the Rocke- fellers he had better be careful and keep his muzzle on! Say, Jimmie, what makes the frogs so shy?” *Catise they ain't got no clothes on, I s'pose.” 27th. He adds: “I showed it to a jovial ministerial friend of mine, who examined the cartoon very closely, and then remarked: “But where does the clergyman. come in?” I give it up. I said I would write to you, and per- haps an answer would be vouch- safed.” Well, neighbor, it’s like this: JUDGE'S cartoonist did not really forget the clergyman, who (occasionally) gets his well- earned summer vacation like the rest of us. But you know there is a place where, no matter how hot the weather may be, there is always something doing, and where old Mephistopheles is al- ways watching out to try and catch the good ministers nap- ping. Under these circumstances we thought it might be indis- creet, in such a widely-circulated paper as JUDGE, to show a pict- ure of the clergyman asleep. comicbooks.com