Judge, 1901-08-10 · page 7 of 16
Judge — August 10, 1901 — page 7: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains several unrelated humorous sketches typical of early 20th-century American satire: **"The Havoc of the Hammock"** mocks the leisure culture of the wealthy—a judge gets trapped by a hammock swing, missing the spectacle. **"Not Becoming"** makes a crude pun about clothing and marital discord. **"The Way They Usually Turn Out"** satirizes con artists pitching investment schemes ("ground floor" opportunities) to gullible marks, who discover they've been defrauded multiple times. **"Dolly Gray—Up to Date"** parodies the sentimental Civil War-era song by replacing patriotic duty with a clerk's retail obligations at a department store (Cash & Co.), mocking commercialized romance. **"At a Saratoga Spring"** contains wordplay about mineral water tasting like corned beef broth—a joke about the famous spa's therapeutic waters. **"She Didn't Think He'd Die"** uses dark humor: a woman dismisses a suitor's suicide threat because he's already living beyond his financial means (thus presumably already "dying" economically). The overall tone reflects Judge's satirical approach to contemporary American social pretensions and commercial culture.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
THE HAVOC OF THE HAMMOCK. Mtv MULLER, on 2? aay 4 hammock swung 997" The Judge came by, and longed to stop, And then, he ham Mock took a di He would have seen, had he but stayed, s The o r r woos eee wILLsAM J. LAMPTOR. LAND. wan, yor! Mercy, dis is NOT BECOMING. de stubbornest man I eber drove.’ He—“ Why didn’t you wear your short skirt?” She—* Because it’s not my long suit.” THE WAY THEY USUALLY TURN OUT. Maw witit 4 scieme—" Say, old man, I'll fet you in on the * ground floor’ for five thousand.” ‘THE OTHER FRLLOW—"* No, you won't. I've gone to sleep on two or three ‘ground-floor’ propositions already, and when I awoke was usually up seventeen stories high and no elevator.” 1 “DOLLY GRAY”"—UP TO DATE. GO0D-BYE, Dolly! I must leave you, ‘Though it breaks my heart to go. Something tells me I am needed At the front, with ‘Cash & Co."— Monday morning there's a‘ mark-down,” My two weeks are up to-day, Hark! The ribbon-counter 's calling. Good-bye, Dolly Gray! ocpan wax. suds awe pace: AT A SARATOGA SPRING. cK—" The teacher writes an’ says thet John is associatin’ with * pugs’— Johnson—1 tell you this water is pretty salt, Kid Swatem,’ an’ the * Pasadena Terror'—an' he wants us to write to him an’ tell ign't it?” him to quit it. Mr. Hawnuck—‘ I guess we'll have ter dew it, "Mandy, but it'll be hard fer John. He allers wuz Smithers — Yes; it's a regular corned-beef fond of dogs, an’ them pugs is such innercent little fellers, too!" cocktail.” SHE DIDN'T THINK HE'D DIE. Masel (in the foreground)}—"* The new count at the hotel says that if I refuse to marry him he means to die within a month.” May—"' Oh, well, everyone knows he is living beyond his means now.” comicbooks.com