Judge — August 10, 1901 — page 2: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Sudge AT THE JUDGE BUILDING. Terms to Subscribers, UMITED STATES AMD Ci ADA tH ADVANER, ‘One copy, one year. or §2 numbers - $5.00 ‘One copy, six months, or 26 numbers - 3.50 One copy. for thirteen weeks - == 135 faciuding the Cuaistmas Juoce. FOREIGN SUBSCRIPTIONS — To all foreign countries in the postal union, $6.00 2 yer. mal mere ‘avenue del Optra, CORNER FIFTH AVENUE AND SIXTEENTH STREET, NEW YORK. t97- Circulation larger than any other cartoon weekly Ia the world. The contents of Ji . Infringement of 1 protected by copyright In yright will be promptly and vigorously prosec: perenne 64 Ae CONTRIBUTORS must inclose a stamped and self-addressed envelope with all manuscripts, otherwise return of the latter when found unavailable cannot be guar- anteed. DRAWINGS and all other contributions sent to the Art Department should have the seader’s full name and address written plalaly oa each and every separate sketch. The accompanying joke or descriptive letter-press should Ia every Instance be written upon its Individual picture, and NOT upon a separate slip of paper. 1a- closure of stamps to the full amount of postage !s also required, to lasure safe and prompt retura of material not accepted. THE BRYAN CROP in Ohio is a total failure this year. eee CARRIE NATION wanted Kansas dry. Now will she be good? eee S+GHALL A MAN retire at the age of fifty?” is an interesting question now under discussion. We wouldn't advise Mr. Bryan to wait so long as that. cee HETHER the Constitution follows the flag or not, it's a sure thing that in the trial yacht-races thus far /ndependence has followed the Constitution, R. RAYMOND CALKINS has compiled and published a book on “Substitutes for the Saloon,” yet he doesn't say a thing in it about the drug- store! THE DEVICE eee HE FRENCH ACADEMICIANS are re- forming the grammar of their language. Better begin with some of the things for which the verbs and nouns stand. cee WIRELESS TELEGRAPHY and the dirigible air-ship are now actual prop- erties of the realistic writer, The imaginative romancer must look further ahead in search of material for his “ fairy tales of science.” WHAT'S THE MATTER with Kansas? Drought. Hot winds and one hundred and ten degrees in the shade may be all right for the sunflowers, but it is rough on the corn and other crops, to say nothing of humans, eee Ww AN ACTOR started to clean out" the office of a Leavenworth newspaper which had criticised him adversely they simply turned the hose on him. It is a pity that some of the degenerate plays imported from Paris and Lon- don cannot be subjected to the same hydropathic douche. see *#*THE EXPEDITION to Pata- gonia in search of the giant sloth has returned without having discovered it,” says the London Daily Express, JUDGE warned Mr. Hasketh Pritchard, chief of the ex- pedition, a year ago, that he was on the wrong trail, He should have begun his search at Philadelphia, as we advised. Pete—" Jes’ like dat!" YELLOW FICTION FOR ANNAPOLIS. DGAR STANTON MACLAY has perpetrated a gigantic hoax, in palming off, as a text-book of history, on the United States Naval Academy at Annapolis, a blood-and-thunder fiction story of the liveliest type. It will be great larks for the boys until the Administration authori- ties decide positively to prohibit the book, as they are bound to do sooner or later. CALIFORNIA’S APPRECIATION. +6 (CARNEGIE a Good Thing—Being Worked for All He is Worth "— these are the heads under which the Oakland (Cal.) Times an- nounces the acceptance by the city of San Francisco of Andrew Carnegie’s offer of three-quarters of a million dollars for public library build- ings; and the article goes on to say: “San Francisco has again followed the example of Oakland. It has made a successful pull on the Carnegie limb, and the said limb responded to the tune of seven hundred and fifty thousand dollars, Next!" Unquestionably the Californians know a good thing when they see it. Yet we doubt, from their manner of expression, if they are receiving Mr. Carnegie’s gifts in just the spirit in which the latter are offered. MODERN AJAXES. AMILTON’S “JUDGE” CARTOON representing Senator Cullom of Illinois as bristling with lightning-rods and defying the presidential- nomination lightning to do its worst was of course a figurative creation, and might have applied with equal appositeness to several other political Ajaxes of our twentieth-century Iliad. But if anybody thought the illus- tration too far-fetched, we would commend to his attention the following news paragraph from the New York Sun: “CRISFIELD, Md., July roth.—While a thunderstorm prevailed on Monday, Philip Walls, a farmer, procured a lightning-rod, and, attaching it to his head, went forth, saying that he desired of all things to be struck by lightning.’ He wandered about a field, calling aloud for the lightning to strike him if it dared. He was not disappointed. Just as he was ing a great oak-tree for the third or fourth time, lighining-bolt struck the tree, shattering it to pieces. One of the splinters hit Walls on the head, rendering him unconscious, He was at once conveyed indoors, where it was ascertained that he had been wounded seriously, but he will recover” ‘We don’t know whether or not to wish Senator Cullom similar luck. A MARYLAND POOH-BAH. A DISTINGUISHED EX-CONFEDERATE of Hagerstown, Mary- land, whose name is frequently in print, was questioned by a New York editor as to his proper title. He replied as follows: “My title is often a subject of amusement, as well as of controversy, The papers almost universally —with the excep- tion of a few old Confederate ones, edited by some of my old companions—call me General. Yet I am often called by half a dozen different titles. Last summer a coach- ing party from New York was here at one of the hotels, A facetious member of it was standing beside one of the portico columns in front, while I happened to be seated on the other side. As my fellow-citizens passed I was saluted, ‘ How-de-do, General ?’ ‘Good- evening, Judge,’ ‘How do, Colonel,’ ‘Well, Major,’ and the like, until the facetious trav- cler was heard to whisper, ‘Good Lord! who is that Pooh-Bah, with all the titles?" Major is called my ladies’ title, by which I was best known as a staff-officer in the army, and nearly all the old women call me that yet who knew me then. 1 was Colonel commanding brigade at Petersburg to Appomattox (rec- ommended for Brigadier-General, but the surrender came before I got it). Iwas only Lieutenant and aide- de-camp at Port Republic with Stonewall Jackson, I was Judge for a time on the judicial circuit. Since the war I have been Captain of what is now known as The Douglas Guards; Lieutenant-Col- onel First Maryland Battalion; Col- onel First Maryland Infantry; Ad- jutant-General of Maryland; and Major-General commanding all the State troops in the strike of 1894, and subsequently. I am out of the EXPLAINED. military now, but am usually called General.” comicbooks.com