Judge — July 20, 1901 — page 11: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Caught the Gallery. Home and rest on my Laurels, TO A MONKEY. rrofessor Klaatsh of Heidelberg holds that the 1eiSt the descent of man {rom an ape is no longer Slcbut that the ape isa degenerate form of man.) Oh, monkey ! saddened by the hyma From yonder organ scrannel, Dressed in your very short and sim- Ple flannel, It pained me when I gazed before Upon your tail dependent ‘To think I possibly was your ndant, Lut this no longer I bemoan ; Klaatsh says it is a fiction, ‘And proves, entirely to his own Conviction, That you are not the sire of men, But rather to be rated Their son, perhaps the least degen~ erated. Vet, monkey, after all, I fear ‘That Klaatsh's sage objection Still leaves you as a very near Connection. It scarce improves the place of man— Tn fact, I'd almost rather Iie called your son, oh, monkey! than Your father. —Punch, As an appetizer and general tonic, mix quar- ter wine-glass Dr. Siegert’s Angostura Bitters, fill with iced water, add teaspoonful sugar. A LITTLE FABLE, Once upon a Time the People made Much yover one of their Heroes and Sent him a lot ‘of Laurels, and Asked him if there was Any- thing El they could Do for him, he Answered, in a Speech which “1 shall now go to my “No, Next day he was Asking for Cut Prices on Feather Beds and Air Cushions, Moral— Laurels are Only rested upon in Print, —Josh Wink, in Baltimore American, FOR SHAMPOOING Packer's Tar Soap admirably meets all the requirements of luxury and hygiene. It is pure and emollient, cleanses thor- oughly, removes dandruff and allays itching. Physicians and hair-dressers recommend Packer’s Tar Soap The Packer Mfg. Co., New York. AMS" AVING TICK ch, Famous for its r creamy, never drying lather, ; me wise Witte Shaving Song (hor 9, 6 Roond Cakesy 1 tb., 40ce » Exquisite also fot toilet, Tela Size) Willams Shaving Tablet for 2c. stamp Se ee ee on'y firm in the orld makin VA SHAPING Spe any THE J. DB, WILLIAMS CO., Glastonbury, Ct. MOON FARIS DERSDEM J. to ‘8 Lrmeany fs fall of pure fan. No poltties, 10e. SONNET ON SIDNEY LEE'S LIFE OF SHAKESPEARE. Lee, who in niggard soil hast delved, to find | What tnings soever may be known or! guessed, Of him that to the ages gives no rest, ‘The world-watched secret peak of human mind; Thy choice was well, who leay st to fools and blind All visionary, vague, fantastic quest. None to the Presence hath more nearly pressed, Nor hast thou him dis-served to serve mankind. "Tis said of certain poets, that writ large Their sombre names on tragic stage and tome, They are gulfs or estuaries of Shakespeare's sea. Lofty the praise; and honor enough, to be As children playing by his mighty marge, Glorious with casual sprinklings of the foam. —William Watson, A PLUSH HAND OF PROVERBS, Too far to the good is a long way to the d | As goes the main guy, so goes the whole push, A knock from a knocker is as good as a He who puts his faith in hunches never gets off right. Look out for the man who plugs his own game.— Portland Oregonian. A BOTTLE of EVANS’ ALE Soothes the Stomach Quenches the Thirst Sharpens the Appetite Fills All Wants SAFEST DRINK FOR SUMMER DAYS Ang Dealer Anywhere. C.H. EVANS & SOND, Hodson, N. Y. ED. PINAUDS EAU DE QU: MAIR TONIC THE BEST HAIR RESTORER DANDRUFF, CURE 58 BiNA Theo OCR $250 REWARD Bik Hesel i for tatformation Jeading to the conviction of any denier heviog redited empty bottles of EDs P= NAUp's worlareoowned” BOcEe Eau de Quinine Hair Tonic, of adulterating and tampering tn any shape or form ‘with the original contents of the sai me ‘Any communication reiative to the detection of auch Frauds will be treated la strict confidence PUTNEY, TWOMBLY & PUTNEY, Attorneys, 115 BROADWAY, NEW YORK. POSITIVE a nainaressing for ‘Soup os. Gato EARL & WILSON'S COLLARS CUFFS&SHIRTS BEST IN THE WORLD. ( (ll C Abbott's, the Original Angostura Bitters, makes work a recreation. gists and grocers cording to the New York Press, that deserves a response. twenty years ago deserted his poor wife and babe, will retum, said babe will knock the stuffing out of him. HAPPINESS AT HOME Just cold enough here ‘To make a fire feel good; One man to hunt the ‘possum An’ one to cut the wood. An’, Molly, put the kettle on An’ bake the biscuits brown ; Shake some white sand on the floor, ‘An’ take the fiddle down. —Arkansaw Thos, Cat, The vigor and force imparted by the use of Get the genuine. Drug- A newspaper prints an advertisement, ac- It reads: “If John Smith, who STOODINTS. Stoodints is on the bum ; We're glad to see ‘em jog, For when September ‘s cum ‘The town goes on the hog. ‘They yell around an’ shout, ‘An’ causes much offense. m! they crowds us out Pill we look like thirty cents. By Stoodints is on the bum, An’ still I have heard tell If stoodints didn't ¢ym, The town wud yy (0 ‘ell. Princeton Tiger, If any persons still doubt the superiority of the Sohmer Piano, let them try for themselves and be convinced, not only that the Sohmer ts the best, but that it will continue to be the best. “She winked at you, eh? Well, what fol- lowed?" “I did."— own Topics, A Plain and Si You Agree We Agree to pay full amount STRE GIBR, JOHN F. DRYDEN, President Is the Policy Issued by The Prudential to pay the premium; of death or when policy matures, if it is on the Endowment plan. Write for Information Department N. The Prudential Insurance Co. of America mple Contract of policy in event NGTH OF ALTAR HOME OFFICE: jowark. N. J. Until the millennium life insurance will be a necessity for all except a very few— those who escape the law of average. If you are sure to escape, no need to apply to the Paxn Murvat Lire, 921-35 Chestnut Street, Philadelphia. THE “SOHMER” HEADS THE LIST OF THE HIGHEST GRADE PIANOS. SOHMER PIANOS Sohmer Building, Sth a Qdiy, Satearoom in Greater New ves. cor. 22d St York. Bill—* When a man is in debt I think he ought to try and get out.”” /il/—" Do you mean out of debt or out of town?”— Yonkers States- man. | 5 Six Trains Daily for Chicago-NEW YORK CENTRAL. | comicbooks.com