Judge, 1901-07-13 · page 10 of 16
Judge — July 13, 1901 — page 10: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains multiple short humorous pieces typical of early 20th-century satirical magazines: **"The Hyphenated"** mocks the difficulty of spelling hyphenated names—a complaint about immigrants and their "un-American" surnames. **"Adoption"** and **"Those Dear Girls"** are domestic comedies about women and vanity: one woman adopts a child who later wants to become an actress; another girl jokes that a woman in a car crash lost her facial enamel rather than wheel enamel. **"At the Shore"** plays on a man's anxiety about proposing marriage versus calculating his hotel bill. **"Shirt-Waist Man"** depicts a boy's interaction with his sister over borrowed clothing. **"His Gallantry Was a Boomerang"** shows a comic sequence where a man helps women escape a cow; the final panel reveals he's the sheriff demanding payment for the disruption. The remaining items are brief quips about Princeton colors, relations tracking via obituaries, and automobile riding—all employing the period's casual racism and gender stereotypes typical of Judge's humor.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
‘The Reverend Johnson proves a little Christian Science. ADOPTION! AID sonless and daughterless Mrs. McCabe “I'm so blue, I feel so alone! I think I'll adopt a motherless babe, THE HYPHENATED. NAMES of great men all re mind us, We can make our own sublime, If we can but make the printer, Spell them all out every time. AT THE SHORE, She —" Te will take us half an hour to get back to the hotel.” He—“ And in that time I must know my fate.” She —“ But 1 cannot give you my answer then.” He —" Oh, I know that. But by that time I will know how much my hotel bill is.” ‘That ever will be as my own.” And she kept her word, And ‘the babe” proved “a bird” When a maiden she came of age ; For she said to her ma, “I'm so blue! Ta! Ta! I'm going to adept the stage !" WAUTRR PLITIER, THOSE DEAR GIRLS. Madge —“" She was in a collision and had al\ the enamel scraped off her wheel.” Dolly —“ How lucky she was! If she'd taken a header she'd have -had the enamel scraped off her face.” “Bing! Thud! Blump!" VAIST MAN. His sister —" Willie Jones, you take my new shirt-waist right off or I'll tell ma, do you hear?” HIS GALLANTRY WAS A BOOMERANG. “Oh, don’t mention it, It was nothing. always happy to aid fair woman in distress.” GOO-GOO EYES, Mickey (sighing) — Maggie O'Hoolihan wud only Took at me like dat !” THE ONLY WAY. . syou seem to have a lot of relations. How do you keep track of them?” “Tread the obituary column in the papers every day.” A GREAT Princeton color combination should be found in a negro with yellow fever. HANDICAPPED. Dolly —" Your ride in the auto must have been just lovely and exciting.” Madge —" It was exciting, but not lovely. Charlie had to use both hands to work it.” ** Chase my caeows an’ git ‘em all riled up, will ye! Well, I'm the sheriff o' this here caounty an’ Tl Gine ye twenty dollars, Air ye goin’ to pay ?” comicbooks.com