Judge — June 29, 1901 — page 13: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

MODERN SERMONS, 1 ‘The truly modern preacher Discusses every fad / That comes to public notice, If it be good or bad. He speaks with graceful accent On “* Should Our Hair Le Dyed,” Or tells his congregation “* The Proper Way to Ride.” He wails ** The Curse of Checkers.” Or "Why We Leave the’ Farm"; >: | Tut none has used this topic, } “Turn in a Fire Alarm. Ile talks on ** Modern Writers,” Or ‘Can Our Votes Be Bought,” And sometimes he's just lovely On " Thoughtlessness of Thoug! Some day an innovation Will suddenly be sprung— ‘Some conscientious preacher Will turn his silver tongue | ‘To words of hope-and heaven, And grace his voice will fill, And we'll get more religion And less of vaudeville. —Jork Wink, in Baltimore American, | LITTLE LIBELS ON THE SEX, I When a woman has had a cry the powder follows after the bawl.—Leading a woman to the altar is usually a man’s last act of leader- ship.—It pleases a woman to be told that she Steady nerves and a strong stomach ist legacy of Abbott's, the Original Angostura Iiit- ters, ter w fill with ji for the dramas of Oscar Wilde. little lady who sits at the desk is embarrassed weorst that I can do for you, cleverly but_rebukingly, Pinero,"—Genevieve Hamilton, in San Fran- cisco Argonaut, NEW YORK PAPERS IN A NUTSHELL, ‘Yo the Editor of Juve! ss If you see it in the Sux It’s so-so, If you see it in the Tribune It's slow-slow, If you see it in the Journal It's yel-low, If you see it in the Workt It's Joe-Joe. If you see it in the Zimes It's fit-O, If you see it in the Post It's ditto, If you see it in the Herald It's a hit-0, If you see it in JuDGe it-0, It's wi At least that is the way it strikes yours truly, N. W. Waker. As an appetizer and general tonic, mix quar- e-glass Dr. Siegert’s Angostura Bitters, d water, add teaspoonful sugar. THE WISE LIBRARIAN. Out at the city library you will ask’ in vain The modest then you ask for them, and would lecture you, feel sure, if she knew you well enough, * The she said to me, s to give you Mr. improves man by her companionship.—Women do not tave over dentists as they rave over |g doctors, because teeth cannot be fixed without pain.—There is nothing that makes a good woman's heart so swell with pride as to have her pastor notice her absence from.church.— When a visiting woman asks for the Bible to read it always arouses a suspicion that she wants to look at the family record in it and find out the ages.—When a new girl comes to town on a visit she comes down town the first day she‘arrives, and thinks the business sus- pends while the men say to one another, "* Who is the peach?'—Arkansaw Thos. Cat. There’s Delight and Contentment Health and Long Life in every bottle of Freed from the dregs - which of old were the objectionable features in Ale Trewed for the past 115 yeara by C.ILEVANS & SONS, Hudson, Ne X- “KODAK” Stands for all that is Best‘in Photography To the perfection of Kodak construction, to the perfec- tion of the Kodak mechan- ism, .to the perfection of the Kodak lenses, is due the Griumph of Kodakery Atl Kodaks Load ia Daylight with our Trassparent Film Carteidges, ‘Several styles use either fims or plates. Siaty-four page catalogve, describing them In detail, tree at the Kodak dealers or by mail, EASTMAN KODAK CO, Rochester, N.Y. 29 Broadway, New York, N.Y. G, F. HEUBLEIN & BRO., Sole Hartford, Conn, HE CLUB= COCKTAILS Don’t be prejudiced against bottled Cocktails until you have tried the Club brand. No better ingredients can be bought than those used in their mixing, The older they grow the better they are, and will keep perfect in any climate after being opened. You certainly appreciate an old bottle of Punch, Burgundy, Claret, Whiskey or Brandy, why should you not an old bottle of Cocktail? Have you considered tt? Seven kinds. All grocers and drug- gists keep them, Proprietors, London. Even the most serious occasions may have humorous incidents that can be appreciated after the period of anxiety has passed. During the severe illness of Mrs. McKinley in San Francisco a squad of policemen was stationed on all, the streets leading to the house where she was staying, to prevent the approach of persons having no business there. A dignified | gentleman residing on one of the quarantined Blocks, when on his way home after dinner, approached one of these guardians of the peace whose Milesian extraction was unquestionably stamped upon his face. The policeman stopped him and asked him where he was going. “Home,” replied the gentleman; ‘I live at twenty-two twenty-two Blank Stieet.” ** Four deuces, is it?” said the policeman with a twiakle in his eye, ‘* That's a good hand, 1 lay mine down. You can go."—San Francisco Argo- naut, He saws the air—The first violinist.—PAila- delphia Bulletin, its reputation because in the world. ON A FLY-LEAP OF BURNS'3 These are the best,of him, Pathos and jest of him; SONGS. Earth holds the rest of him, - Passions were strong in him; Pardon the wrong in him ; Hark to the song of him ! Each little lyrical Grace of satirical Musical miracle! —Frederic Laurence Knowles, ‘The famous Sohmer Piano has justly earned is the best The election of M, Rostand to instrument the French Academy of Immortals was close, but the au- thor of **Cyrano” won by a nose.— Denver Republican, Williams’ Shavinj pestpald creamy, never drying lather An English Barrister writes: “For 25 years I have shaved, and for 24 the process has been painful and irksome. the first time—your Shaving Soap, and in future nothing else will ever lather my face, my face had always been rough and irritated, but.the past winter—thanks to your Soap—it has been perfectly soft and smooth and I have had no difficulty in shaving. Thave saved half the time and my razors have kept in better order than ever before.” Stick Is sold about everywi Si tor Eset your dealer dese net Supply years” (Trial Size) by mall for 10c. in stamps The only firm im the world making a specialty of SHAVING Soaps THE J. B. WILLIAMS CO., Glastonbury, Ct. A year ago I tried—for Previous to last winter DeusDEN SYDNEY A Pan-American sight yesterday was a Jap- anese in American clothing riding in a jiarik- sha drawn by an American garbed as a Japan- ese.—Buffalo Express, \“ SUSQUEHANNA” All Rye and Malt. “Makes the blood rich." Buy only orp 1% noxp. . 8. Govt. Guaranters Aor, Strength, Purity, $12.00 per Case of 12 Quart Bottles. SHERBROOK DISTILLING CO., - CINCINNATL THE “SOHMER”, HEADS THE LIST OF THE HIG HEST GRADE PIANOS. Sohmer Building, ‘Sth Ave., cor, 22d St. Qdiy, Satearoom to Greater New York. Between New York and Via New York Central=Lake Shore Route,...; Chicago In 24 hours... “LAKE SHORE LIMITED.”