Judge — June 29, 1901 — page 12: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

A MIGHTY MI McGolter swung off ‘That yanked him nigh out of bis shooz-le. As he struck on his head, The fly caddie-boy said : “ Ts it hard luck, or only hard booze-le?” OPENING OF A CHESTNUT BURR. S he handed it Quoth the scribe with a grin, “This story 's too good to be true. * But the editor said When the MS. he'd read, * You mean it's too good to be new." 3. ns. BOTH. Mrs, Jack —"“Our congregation has sent the minister to Europe to get a rest.” Mr. Jack —* Whom, the minister or the con- gregation 2” STROKE. a foozle MAIDEN MODESTY. WHEN did Columbia blush? When she saw the President's trip. A CLEVER SUGGESTION. Sapir. Isaacstein —t I am going to der masquerade ball as a * page’, fadder.”” Mr. Isaacstein —"t Vot a clever girl ! tisements.”” COMES HIGH. 6 *\MONEY makes the mare go,’ " quoted the man with the shiny trousers. “believe you,” replied the Colonel, who had d ten thou- sand for Maude G, “ but my ex- perience teaches me that the converse of your statement is also true.” NONE. Castleton —“1 spent two weeks in the Adirondacks after deer.” Cleverton —“ Wave any luck ?” Castleton —" No. 1 missed every guide I didn’t aim at.” UP-TO-DATE GAME. Ted —" Was the game close?" Ned -—* Close? 1 should say so, The crowd was just pouncing on the umpire when the police reserves arrived.” Shust hang dis leedle card on your back unt go as a page of adver- A SUBSCRIBER'S OPINION. Editer Hunchville Enterprize—l jes ben reedin in the Enterprize thet a medicul man seys melaria cums fram the bite of a femail muskeeto. I wunt to ast ye if ye ever heerd of enny trubble thet they wunt a femail at bottum of it. Sence the days of at air woman Eve the femail hes ben tryin fer to set the wurld cross-ways. Ile bet a doller agin a donut thet my rumatiz cum frum the bite of pesky femail fy. le bet if these medicul men pry aroun fer the fax they kin show thet no- body'd have yaller-janders, crick in the back, er cowbunkles, er nothin if we culd jes ketch all the femail inseks an shet “em up sommers an keep ‘em there. T haint no use fer femails in enny form Yurs trul; BILL. Beene, bachelor. an I don't keer who nose it. Huncuviiie, O, AN IDYL. THE pansies to the pathway flock, And lift their quaint grimaces ; The peony and hollyhock Bend forward eager faces. And every flower is held in thrall, And every bud uncloses, To greet the fairest of them all— My love among the roses. The marigold a-quiver seems — Her hand passed lightly o'er it. ‘The tiger-lily blissful dreams ‘She on her bosom wore it. The poppy’s crimson fires to flame — The humblest flower that grows is Transformed, and never is the same When she's among the roses. But sudden every stem and spray Uprears its head in wonder, A breathless silence spreads its way From bush to violet under. And now a titter soft is heard — ‘The sunflowers tell the posies— “ He's kissed her !" shouts a humming-bird, "Tis love among the roses. peer | PEW mane seeet se! wae’ toe EATING IN STYLE. Hiram (in an arced whisper) —" Look ‘yer pootiest, ‘Mandy. ‘The waiter feller sez of course this is the Walledoff Hashtoria, but, unfortunately, most of the swells has bin driven out of town by the hot weather.”